Well, that’s one saucy cat (and active imagination) you have there, Eric, but it’s also a very normal cat you have.

If Ricky was kicking it on the streets, I’ll assume you were the one to have him neutered (high-fives for that). Even a fixed cat has needs, though, and there is no tuxedo too big for a boy with normal instincts. More likely your Ricky could be staging a coup for alpha kitty. I’ve heard that this happens in the wild, too. Young lions will make a move to oust the king of the pride once they are old.

So tell Lucy to hang in there. Ricky’s smooth moves are probably the equivalent of those sketchy dudes at the bar pestering the ladies.

“The Ghost Libido” by Sarah Donner

Lyrics:

Not long ago they cut off my balls
I wonder why they call me Tom at all
I’m like a Sam, Jaime, or Cameron
but something in me still needs to get it on

I’m gonna mount you girl
You are my tuxedo
No I don’t have balls
It’s like a ghost libido
Why delay? You are spayed
I just want to be on top

Oh, Lucy dear, you could be my mother
I see you more like a hot, curvy cougar
You’re all I want without fleas or ticks
It’s not hormones, since we both are fixed

Why delay? You are spayed
I just want to be on top
As alpha cat I can reclaim
The coveted social rank
Let me prove that I’m the best
Just sit still — I’ll do the rest

SOURCES: Messybeast, Catster, About Cats, The Big Cats

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