5 Cat Things I Want to Do — Just to Freak People Out


I sometimes enjoy engaging in weird activity just to see how surrounding people react. My friend Nicky and I used to do this in college: We’d enter the theatre for rehearsal, pretend we’d tripped and then fall and roll down the aisle. We’d also just write naughty words as names on the cast check-in sheet, and then run around the corner and watch people’s reactions as they looked at the paper. We were 19, but have been known to do similar things even now, probably with no excessively filthy language — we are mothers now, after all.

Recently I was thinking about how others might react if I suddenly started engaging in kitty-style behaviors. It makes me laugh to think of the possible reactions. Eventually I’d like to actually perform some of these acts and record them, like a prank show. Instead of Candid Camera, maybe I’d call it Catted Camera. Or something.

Here are five cat-centered things I’d like to do, just to freak people out.

1. Eat “cat treats”

I’d empty a bag of cat treats and fill it with cereal or candy. Probably candy. Then I’d walk up to someone and start eating the “treats” from the bag. Tricky, huh? Maybe I’d even offer them one. “But they’re organic and grain-free!”

2. Drop-n-nap

Sometimes I feel dead-tired and wish I could drop everything, plop on the floor and score some Z’s. I think it’d be hilarious if I were talking to someone and then started yawning. Then, without warning, I’d collapse on the floor and pretend I was falling asleep. I’m thinking they’d probably call an ambulance or try to give me mouth-to-mouth. If they were cute, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

3. Hide from the doorbell

Cosmo and Saffy scatter and hide when they hear a visitor at the door. What if, when I heard a knock, I quickly scurried and hid somewhere? I wonder what my kids and husband would think? You know what, they’ve known me long enough to probably ignore my weird behavior. After all, I did have to ask one of them to take all the ridiculous photos in this post.

4. Voice-trilling

I love when my cats are happy — their tails pop straight up and they make this little trilling sound. You know what I mean, right? I love that sound. I love the thought of being out with friends and suddenly making that trilling sound when something sounded exciting.

“Angie, here’s another glass of wine.”

“Prrrrrrrrrth!” (or however you spell it).

5. Batting dangly objects

My cats often become distracted when something dangly is nearby. How funny to be mid-conversation about something really important — like a parent-teacher conference at school — and begin batting the teacher’s earring, or swatting their pen off the desk. Suddenly they’d understand from where my child inherited the bizarre-gene.

What kind of cat-centered act would you like to do to freak people out? Tell us in the comments!

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Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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