Our family enjoys watching the annual Scripps National Spelling Bee. I’ve always been a pretty good speller and was in local spelling bees when I was in school, but the kids in the National Spelling Bee are crazy-good spellers! If you haven’t heard, this year there were two winners, and the winning words were “stichomythia” and “feuilleton.” What the what?
If cats were to have their own spelling bees, there would definitely be words that would consistently challenge their brilliant brains. To the human mind, these words may seem simple; however, the feline brain works quite differently when it comes to spelling. Sure, they can whip through words like “mackerel,” “sirloin” and “poultry,” but ask them to spell “dog,” and they draw a complete blank.
Here are the six most-missed words at cat spelling bees.
D-O-G. Seems simple enough, right? Only three little letters, yet they stump our feline friends each and every time. I suppose when they’re studying, they don’t bother with words they don’t like. And cats do what they want anyway, so don’t waste your time telling them how they should study for a spelling bee.
Oh, no! The dreaded V-E-T word. Not only do cats skip over this word while studying, they do their very best to completely erase it from their brains.
Announcer: “Fluffy, your word is ‘vet.'”
Fluffy: “Can you use the word in a sentence?”
Announcer: “I went to the vet for my rabies shot today.”
Fluffy: “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Pass.”
In general, cats are not fans of doors. They go ballistic if a door is closed, and suddenly become extraordinarily indecisive when asked to choose one side of the door or the other. “I’ll just sit here in the middle until my choice feels right.” See — doors confuse and infuriate cats. Attempting to spell the word “door” would only send the contestant into fits of confused rage.
To a cat, everything is “mine.” They have no concept of “yours.” Anything is up for grabs and that’s how they like it. They’d pay absolutely no mind to a word like “yours.”
Announcer: “Patches, your word is ‘yours.'”
Announcer: “That is incorrect.”
Patches: Your mom is incorrect.”
Cats know what they want and they want it now. There’s no “later” in their vocabulary, and waiting makes them a neurotic ball of impatience. “I want my dinner now!” They are so programmed to expect immediate results that their brains automatically transpose “later” into “yes, master.” This never bodes well for them in the spelling bee arena.
“What is this ‘no’ of which you speak?” It’s the shortest word given at any feline spelling bee, yet a cat has yet to spell it correctly.
Announcer: “Oreo, your word is ‘no.'”
Oreo: “Sorry, I missed that. Can you repeat?”
Announcer: “Certainly. The word is ‘no.'”
Oreo: “Can you tell me the word’s origin?”
Announcer: “The origin is human.”
Oreo: “OK, I’ll give it a try. ‘No’ is spelled Y-E-S.”
Announcer: “I’m sorry that is incorrect.”
Oreo: “Stupid humans.”
What words would your cat misspell at a spelling bee? Give us some examples in the comments!
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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.