5 Ways I Sound Like a Kook When Talking to My Cats

I give them choices, allow time for replies, and sing to them in meows. What, you don't?

Of course I talk to my cats, and I’ll bet you do, too. It’s just a normal part of the day-to-day life at my house. Every once in a while I stop and listen to myself and think, “Some people might think I sound a little bit like a crazy person.” Does this stop me? No. Am I a kook? Perhaps, but my conversations with my cats will never stop. Ever.

Here are five reasons why someone might think I sound like I’m off my rocker when I chat with my kitties.

1. I give them choices

“What if I don’t want to choose a room? What if I want to stand in the doorway?”

The other day I heard myself say to Cosmo: “You can jump on my lap, but you’ll have to get down in just a few minutes because I have to leave and pick up your brother from school. It’s your choice — what do you want to do?” Then he stared at me, as if he were considering his options. 

I’ve also asked my cats questions like:

“Do you want to go in the bedroom or stay in the living room?”

“Would you like to stay in that box or come downstairs with me?”

“Which pillow would you like to nap on?”

And I, of course, expect responses.

2. I pause for responses

Saffy, mulling over … probably.

Speaking of expecting responses, I really do pause for them. That’s right. I ask a question, and then I wait a few seconds, looking at them like, “I don’t have all day — choose already.” They spend an excessive amount of time mulling things over, if you ask me.

3. I act like I hear their answers

“OK, so this is the toy you want. Nice choice, Cosmo.”

After waiting for what feels like forever to hear their response, I automatically go to the place of pretending like I heard a reply. I don’t say their response out loud or anything (I’m not that kooky — no judgement of those of you who do), but I imagine them. And then of course I reply accordingly. We can, and usually do, have complete “conversations” in this way. I find the talks quite engaging. My cats simply observe the spectacle, probably confused.

4. I tell them stories

“And then I decided to meet Katy for coffee. We talked about this great Crockpot recipe.”

I often relay complete stories to my kitties. I’ll tell them all about the ding-dong who cut in front of me in the checkout line at Target. I’ll share news about the new birdhouse at Grandma’s house. I’ll regale them with tales of life before they joined our family, including the misadventures of cats who’d previously been a part of our family. I especially enjoy carrying them to a window and pointing out some of the activity happening outside. They’re indoor cats, so I figure they appreciate that kind of entertainment.

When my human kids were babies, I did the window thing with them, too. Come to think of it, I did items one through four on this post with my human babies. So I suppose I’ve sounded like a nutty person with cats and little humans alike. As if I give a rip. They liked it — they told me they did.

5. I meow at them


Do you ever meow at your cats? Sure you do. I figure as long as I hold “conversations” with them in my language, I might as well communicate in theirs every now and again. I mostly do this with Phoebe, who’s exceedingly chatty, and always has to have the last word. Sometimes I’ll meow in a question and wait for her reply, and then tell her how I feel about that — in meows, of course. Occasionally I’ll sing to my cats in all-meow lyrics. They love it when I do that. Really, they do. 

Do you think you sound like a kooky person when you talk to your cats? Tell us in the comments! 

Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. 

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