Cats know what they like, and they are quick to share their opinions. This is why they’d be fabulous spokescats to endorse products for which they feel particularly passionate. I was recently thinking about the products behind which my cats would throw their support, and I came up with more than a few options. Here are five of them, along with photos illustrating their passions.
My Cosmo tends to have that sinking feeling … and then he winds up curled up in a porcelain one in the bathroom. And why not? They’re the perfect size, are cool on warm days, and — in my cat’s case — he technically isn’t supposed to be on the counter, so the feline attraction is even stronger. I look past it because he looks so stinking cute.
Cosmo would be the perfect spokescat for a sink company. I mean, really — cats are great judges of just about anything, and they don’t pull any punches. If they don’t like something, they’ll be the first ones to tell us, and not always in the most subtle of ways. So if a cat enjoys a particular sink, it says a lot for the company that made it. Cosmo asked me to mention he’s ready to entertain all spokescat offers … after he wakes up from his nap.
2. Stuffed bears
Cosmo has a “special” relationship with the stuffed bear that sits on my bed. I often walk in on him having what we call a “date” with said bear. He always looks alarmed, like he’s been busted making a sex tape or something. Suffice it to say he knows what he likes and would be more than willing to tout the squish-factor of any bear on the market. His only request is to “try” all the options first, behind closed doors, with a little Barry White being gently piped into the room. Sounds pretty reasonable to me.
3. Laundry baskets
Honestly, who knows laundry baskets better than cats? To us humans, these baskets are purely practical — vehicles for toting clothing to and from the laundry room. To cats, they are objects of curiosity and comfort. As soon as I place a laundry basket on the floor or bed, my kitties come from all corners of the house, ready to check it out and lay claim to the warm, heavenly nest of towels, socks, and underwear.
Laundry baskets come in various shapes and depths, neither of which I’ve ever seen affect my cats’ willingness to climb inside them. They’re kind of “basket whores,” you know what I mean? They’ll jack any and all baskets in their sight. A basket company should definitely hire a cat to endorse their wares. My guess is a cat would do it for next to nothing, probably for the use of the basket for a couple of hours. They’re easy.
Cats like to lie on top of “things.” My Phoebe is known to plop atop a stack of folded shirts, a pile of bills, and I’ve even seen her intentionally position herself on top of a tiny square of paper. She especially enjoys small rugs and would absolutely offer her promotional services to any rug company that need advertising. Forget the “thug life,” Phoebe is a sucker for the “rug life.”
5. Tubes of lip balm
“Hey! Has anyone seen my lip balm?” This is a common question in my house. Chances are, someone has seen the lip balm, and that “someone” has pointy ears and swatty paws. I often find these tubes have been batted underneath the sofa and bookcase. The cats go nuts for them, and for good reason. They’re the perfect size for swatting, and are pretty darn slidey. All three of my cats would accept offers to endorse lip balm, and they’re not partial to any particular brand, as long as it’s tube-shaped.
Laugh with us:
- 5 Ways I Irritate My Cats — and I Can’t Help Myself
- 5 Ways My Cats Have Taught Me to Stay Warm
- Texts from Mittens the Cat: Holiday Misfortunes Edition
Read more by Angie Bailey:
- Do Your Cats Demand Snuggle Time Like Mine?
- Texts from Mittens: The “Antiques Roadshow” Edition
- And Now, 5 Photos of My Cats Caught in the Act
- What Happens When My Cats Tell Me What to Wear
- 5 Ways My Cats Completely Own Me
- My Cats Are Addicts: 5 Reasons They Would Land in Rehab
- Do You Ever Wish You’d Given Your Cat a Different Name?
- What if Cats Held Office Jobs? Worst. Cubicle Mates. EVER!
- 3 Ways You and Your Kids Can Help Big Cats
About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.