Cats are excellent “helpers,” especially when it comes to holiday decorating. They have definite opinions on tree ornaments, and are endlessly paws-on when it comes to wrapping gifts. What would we do without their expertise?
Here are eight cats who are particularly gifted in the art of decoration.
1. Let me adjust these for you
You’re terrible at this whole bead-hanging business. They must be evenly draped all over the tree — even across the bottom branches. It looks absolutely ridiculous when all the beads are only hanging on the top half of the tree. What? You meant to do that? Why? Oh. I’m offended!
2. I suppose bow usage, but not this one
Hey, friend — pick another bow. Don’t you think that other one would complement the wrapping paper way better than this old thing? Yeah, I know I’m color blind, but I get artistic vibes, man. I just know this bow is all wrong for that gift. You gotta trust me on this one.
3. Already too many ballerina bears on the tree
Okay, this has got to go. Don’t you think there is one too many ballerina bears on this tree? It’s overwhelming, really. Have you ever seen a real bear that’s a ballerina? I didn’t think so. The tree is full of lies! I better take this bear right now … in the name of integrity, of course.
4. Let us do some quality control
You know we love you, right? Well, it’s in your best interest to allow us to check the contents of these bags before they go anywhere. You don’t want to endanger the lives of the recipients, do you? We didn’t think so. Just a few bites and rearrangement should do the trick. We’re gonna be a while — why don’t you go pour yourself a cup of eggnog.
5. I know — I look good
I just improved the awesomeness of your tree by a kazillion percent. I mean, look at me. I exude holiday cheer. You could win some kind of tree decorating contest now. Seriously — this Christmas tree was crap before I inserted myself as a decoration. Do you like me in this position or should I move a little closer to the top? I’m thinking I should keep climbing. What the hell? I’ll just be the star! Now we’re talkin’.
6. I’m the bow
You don’t need any fancy bows. I’ll just lie here on top of the gifts and be the catch-all bow substitute. I’ll way more decorative; don’t you agree? Now you’re saving money on bows and increasing the overall beauty of your gifts. Don’t worry, I’ll move around the tree so all the presents have the privilege of my decorative efforts.
7. This branch needs to go a little lower
You people obviously don’t know how to properly floof tree branches. I’m just going to move a few of these a bit lower so the floof is properly balanced. Yes, I do have to move the branches with my mouth — what of it? Maybe if I had opposable thumbs I wouldn’t have to do that. You’re so arrogant over there with your opposable thumbs. Now leave me alone and let me chew on … I mean move … these branches.
8. I’m the most beautiful decoration
It’s official: I’m the most gorgeous decoration under the tree. My presence is far more festive than any elaborately wrapped gift or weirdo nutcracker. Look at me! You couldn’t ask for a better holiday decoration and I don’t even have to do anything. Aren’t you lucky? Of course you are. You’re welcome. Merry Christmas.
Does your cat “help” you with holiday decorating? Tell us about it in the comments!