6 Ways Cats Are WAY Cooler Than Me


Cats are so cool. No matter what they do, they’re totally confident and brimming with awesome. They’re WAY cooler than me. Even when they fall off the arm of the sofa, they emerge completely collected and looking fantastic. I wish I could say the same thing for me when I’ve just tripped walking up the stairs … for the third time that day.

And they naturally know how to do what’s best for their mind and body. What’s up with that? I’m sure my cats are laughing at my shelves of self-help books. I want some of that kitty-cat cool!

Here are six ways cats are way cooler than me.

1. They say what’s on their minds

I’ve always been a people pleaser. I want others to like me and am a natural conflict avoider. I’ve gotten much better over the years, but I still want everybody to be my friend. Because of this, I have to work at being direct, even if it means my words might (eek!) have a not-so-pleasant effect on someone. Do you know who couldn’t care less about telling it like it is? Cats.

In the morning my cats follow me to the kitchen, verbally harrassing me so I know, in no uncertain terms, that they want some breakfast. And when I’m snuggling one of them, they have absolutely no qualms about letting me know they’re done with that huggy business.

I want to be more forward like that. I do have to say that when I’m hungry, I have no problem verbally harassing someone. Don’t mess with my food.

2. They don’t care what others think

As I mentioned, I generally don’t like to rock the boat. When I was much younger, I cared a lot about how I looked and came across to other people. As I age, that need for approval has significantly diminished. I wear what feels comfortable, watch movies and TV shows that some people think are ridiculous, and listen to music that many would consider unhip. Go ahead, make fun of ABBA, but they could rock some spandex bodysuits.

I believe this is the area in which I’ve grown the most, but I still have some work to do.

3. They’re resourceful

Cats are models of making the most of what they have. Who needs a fancy toy when they’ve got a kickin’ box? They’re happy with an elastic ponytail holder. Sometimes I forget to stop and appreciate what’s really great about my life. Cats show us we can have a blast walking across wrapping paper and chewing on tape. Thanks, cats!

4. They get their yoga on

I keep making this promise to myself that I’m going to start seriously getting yogafied every morning. I do manage to twist into a couple of nice stretches and I always feel better and taller, but I think about how much more lithe I’d feel if I actually committed to a regular routine. Cats are the laziest creatures on earth, and now they’re actually making me feel lazy. Dammit.

5. They make time for beauty sleep

I get six to seven hours of sleep in a night. And I deal with occasional insomnia. If sleep really does make us more beautiful, then I need to slap on a mask so I don’t start scaring people.

Cats average 16 to 18 hours of sleep per day, and they’re gorgeous. Sleeping most of the day might interfere with my family life and ability to create an income, but I want a just a smidgen of whatever they have. Suckers.

6. They look fabulous upon waking

Speaking of sleep, have you ever seen anyone who looks so ravishing upon awakening? Cats totally own that just-out-of bed, totally stunning look. Even after eight hours of sleep, I’ve got a little bit of a job ahead of me to look ready for the public. But if I were as cool as a cat, I just wouldn’t care how I looked, right? Dang, cats have got it goin’ on.

In what ways is your cat cooler than you? Tell us in the comments!

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