Cats are curious by nature and often don’t have the self control to stifle that curiosity. So off they go, doing whatever they please, not giving a rat’s tail whether we humans will catch them in the act. Sometimes we do catch them mid-shenanigan, and then they feign innocence, and even try to blame us for their hijinks. Cats aren’t the best at feigning most things.
Here are six cats who are obviously up to something.
1. Slowly sinking
“I’m always up here — you just never see me. What am I doing? Testing the water pressure. Obviously. Nobody else is going to do it, so I guess Patches has to do it. Patches has to do everything around here! Now be gone! I have work to do! I’m sickened by the sight of your lazy face!”
2. I don’t have a mirror
“Why are you looking at me? I know I’m strikingly handsome, but stop staring! Take a picture, why don’t you? No — I take that back. Don’t take a picture. Now you’re giving me that suspicious look, like the time you thought I dragged the bag of hot dog buns off the kitchen counter. I didn’t, by the way. Stop it. Go do something useful, like get me a treat. I told you to stop staring at me!”
3. I always sit here
“You act like this is the first time you’ve seen me sitting in the potted plant. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen me chilling in the pot on a number of occasions. No, I didn’t chew your precious plant. I’m just sitting here, looking out the window. I have no idea how that dirt got on the floor. The dog, maybe? OK, you can go now. I have some squirrel watching to do. Goodbye.”
4. And behind curtain No. 1 …
“Why would you think I knocked over the open bottle of shampoo? I just heard a loud crash and came to check it out. Aren’t you glad I’m on top of those kinds of things? I’m like a watch dog, but cuter.
These paws are innocent, I tell you! By the way, you’re gonna need to buy more shampoo. And can I have the old bottle’s lid?”
5. Roller cat
“The roll of toilet paper is missing? I didn’t notice. I was just sitting here … thinking. Maybe you should keep better track of your toilet paper rolls. It seems kind of irresponsible to just lose an entire roll. What’s behind me? Oh, is that your roll? Well, you really should take better care of it. I promise not to tell anyone about this little incident. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you or anything.”
6. You don’t see me
“I’m not on the counter. You must be seeing things. Have you gotten your eyes checked lately? Maybe you need new glasses. I’m sure you probably so. I saw a coupon in the newspaper. Better go check it out — like sooner than later. Bye, now.”
When does your cat look like he’s up to something? Tell us in the comments!
Read more by Angie Bailey
- “Hello, My Name is Angie, and I’m a Cat-Huffer”
- Cats and Bags: 2 Very Important Scientific Experiments
- The Pros and Cons of My Cats as Health Care Providers
About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.
