Cats are pretty sneaky little buggers. And because they consider themselves far more refined than everyone else, their recovery is ridiculously funny when they’ve been busted doing something that’s a no-no. Sometimes they try and play if off like they totally meant to commit the crime, but other times they just stare at us like, “Oh, yeah? What of it?” Either way, it’s clear nothing is weighing heavily — or lightly — on their consciences.
I regularly bust Saffy creeping around on the counter, helping herself to whatever’s within reach. She typically jumps off the counter with a giant thud and makes off into the other room, pretending everything’s cool. She’ll be back.
I sometimes bust my cats moments before one is about to administer a surprise smackdown to another one. Poor Saffy is indeed a counter cruiser, but she’s also the pariah around here. The other cats like to whomp her for no good reason. Poor girl — she probably needs the counter pickings for solace: “The stick of butter is my friend.”
Here are six cats photographically busted right in the middle of what they probably shouldn’t be doing.
1. Shreddin’ it
These kitties can’t even pretend they weren’t doing anything. Explain all you want, but you’re not getting out of this one. And those pieces of toilet paper on the floor are small! There were some advanced shredding methods employed in that session, to be sure. The guy lying on the floor looks pooped, but somehow I think he could take another roll or two.
2. Bowled over
Now, this probably isn’t a no-no, but kitty sure looks like he’s been caught doing something naughty. Plus, now he’s lowered himself to a dog’s lowered standards of libation. It’s like we’ve discovered his dirty little secret.
3. Feelin’ nippy
He’s so stoned and totally busted — he can’t even look at the camera. And look how the eyes are simply slits and his remorse is nonexistent. He obviously snatched the bag-o-nip, maniacally ripped into it, and then tossed the dried bits about like a rock star trashing a hotel room. He’s the Keith Richards of the cat world.
4. Liddle liar
This cat can’t talk his way out of this one — no way, now how. The answer to, “How did your head get stuck in the wastebasket lid?” can’t be answered by anything other than, “I was rooting around, looking for goodies.” The trashy neckpiece does have sort of a Lady Gaga appeal, though.
5. Cabinet position
He was just helping you take inventory, really he was. Sure thing, buddy. You are investigating the contents of the cabinet, no doubt looking for anything that might have your name written on it. As a bonus, you’ve now physically elevated yourself high above the humans in your life. As if you needed to make a statement about who’s really in charge. Kitty, you’re about to be removed from your cabinet position.
6. Lickety split
Like Saffy, this kitty has his licker license and isn’t afraid to use it. He’s even smacking his lips, for heaven’s sake. Don’t you just love a cat’s sense of entitlement? “Leftover mac-n-cheese? That’s mine.” “Pork chop drippings? I’ll take those.” Yes, he’s busted and will promptly be removed from the flash-in-the-pan buffet of delights; however, if asked, I’m absolutely certain he’d say he’d do it all over again.
Have you caught your cat in the act? Tell us about it in the comments!
About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and a giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.
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