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7 Cats Who Make Their Own Rules

Cats will do what they please, even if it means helping themselves to our food, knocking over knick-knacks, and hijacking our homework.

Angie Bailey  |  Apr 4th 2016

You know that look cats give us when we try to impose our human rules upon them? That smug “you have got to be kidding” look is widely familiar to those of us who share our lives with the feline set.

Although they sometimes — to appease us — follow the law, cats typically prefer to do as they please. No matter how frustrating this feels to us, we totally expect it. We know what we’re getting into when a kitty chooses to own us. And they know what they’re getting into as well. They totally play us, and we sit back and let it happen. Such is life with cats. Still, we wouldn’t want it any other way. I mean, how boring would that be?

Here are seven cats who have little regard for our silly human rules, so they make their own.

1. “I’m on your homework”

"How about learning to pet me ... like right now."

“How about learning to pet me … like right now.” Photo via Flickr

You have homework to do? I’ve got an assignment for you: Pet me. It’s due right now, so get crackin’. Why do you look so irritated? I promise I’ll grade on a curve, so you’ll probably score an acceptable grade, but I’m not promising anything. What are you waiting for? Hey! Stop trying to move me! I’m comfortable and within perfect distance of your hands … which should be petting me right now. Your grade is dropping by the second. 

2. “I’m on your table”

"I have a beef about my food."

“I have a beef about my food.” Photo via Flickr

Why am I eating your food, you ask? Because the stuff you feed me is crap, and I have a particular taste for ground beef this evening. If you have a problem with it, perhaps you should start serving me a better class of fare. Like ground beef. Now if you’d kindly move your fork, I have some work to do. By the way, is there extra cheese happening somewhere?

3. “I’m on your chair”

"Too bad for you."

“Too bad for you.” Photo via Flickr

You see, there’s this rule that goes something like “an open chair is open game.” I’m sure you’re familiar with it because we’ve gone over it more than a few times. So no — I’m not moving, and I can’t even believe you’re asking me to do so. I saw a nice folding chair in the closet. I’m thinking you should probably grab it. Thank you and goodbye.

4. “We’re on your keyboard”

"Need a laptop, too?"

“Need a laptop, too?” Photo via Flickr

We saw that you’ve been looking at other cats online. What’s up with that? There’s so much cuteness right in front of your face, and you don’t even need wifi to access it. And if you decide you’d rather have a laptop, we can help you with that, too. Hey, can we have some treats? 

5. “I’m in your cupboard”

"This seems relevant to my interests."

“This is relevant to my interests.” Photo via Flickr

Well, if you didn’t have so many interesting things on these shelves, I wouldn’t be tempted to jump up here and explore. It’s you, not me. Obviously. Sorry-not sorry about knocking over your teapot. I don’t think it chipped (much). If you don’t want me all up in your stuff, you should probably spend your next day off cleaning and organizing this cupboard. Or maybe not — I kind of like it like this. Never mind. As your were. 

6. “I’m in the cat food bag”

"Because I'm forced to do this."

“Because I’m forced to do this.” Photo via Flickr

If you refuse to feed me when I want to be fed, I have no problem taking things into my own hands … or paws, as it were. This is what you get for not properly sealing the bag of chow, although I’m sure I could have chewed my way into it. Maybe this will teach you to listen to me when I ask for food. Two meals a day, plus treats, is not even close to what I want every day. By the way, I’m hungry. Are you going to set me up or should I just help myself? Either way is fine with me.

7. “I’m on your turntable”

"This is officially out of rotation."

“This is officially out of rotation.” Photo via Flickr

I’m sick to death of hearing this album played incessantly. How about I remove it from the turntable and chew on the edges of it? That should solve the problem. Forget about dropping the needle on this baby — I’m dropping the claws on it. That’s fine, right? Like you have any choice. This is a rare album? Well now it’s even more rare. The scratches and bites are one of a kind. Sorry, sucker. Next time pick something on my playlist. Like complete quiet.