— The camera loves me. How could it not?
— Lazy? No. Just hard at work at avoiding all work.
— When you sneeze, it scares cats. Plus, you're doing it wrong. So stop sneezing already.
— I answer questions about cat recreation, cat food, relationships, and Sphynx creepiness.
— You'll learn a lot about the feline way when you read this. I know more than you about cats.
— Unlike most things humans do, watching this spectacle isn't totally stupid, if you do it right.
— You know I don't like "outside," so here's a review of the available options nearby.
— This abstaining kitty provides a public service announcement: Catnip is for LOSERS.
— You want to improve yourself? Good. You can be more like me, the most perfect kitty ever.
— In which I devise a seemingly perfect way to rid my household of that new gray kitten.
— Mina has lots of contempt for me, but she doesn't always show it. That got me to thinking ...
— Our resident spoiled cat clues us in on what it's really about.
— Unless we act dumb and sit still, humans think we're up to no good. Ziggy! Are you listening?
— I have a case of the blahs. It would be better if you would just recognize my greatness for once.
— Cats are territorial predators, and we love our territory -- so step away from the mango box.
— Human writers are considered "cat experts." But I'm not! That makes me hiss. And spit. And I might throw up on you.
— If I had to choose between the Giants and the Tigers, I would pick Tigers, of course. But I don't have to pick, because I hate baseball.
— Mommy took off this week, leaving me with Daddy and the kitten. Mommy must have needed a break -- from Daddy and the kitten.
— Negative campaign tactics are almost as much fun as gravy. And I do love gravy.
— Life is hard for a cat. Fortunately, I have my ottoman -- and remember, it is MY ottoman!
— As master and creator of Mina Fu, I'll initiate you in this secret, feline martial art.
— Need legal advice? Daddy's in law school, and I got it all figured out. I passed three bars today so far!
— So, one day a kitten named Ziggy showed up and started acting like he owned the place. I stopped that in a hurry.
— Voting is different for cats. They're what you might call self-elected.
— Want to be the dominant mammal in the house? Ignore your humans. It drives them nuts. And it's hilarious.
— As a kitty who's once been on a porch, I know "outside" is no good. Stay safe, stay near food -- stay near humans you can torture -- stay indoors.
— If you want to get healthy, try my program. You'll feel like you've slept for hours.
— As far as I can tell, sleeping, eating, and dominating other cats aren't Olympic events. So, what's the point?
— Seriously, people. You could be doling out skritchies instead.
— So, great news, I stayed at my editor's house for a few days! This is not great news at all.
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