Home ยป The Scoop

Next on The Scoop:

It’s been well documented that animals like to get high from time to time. But nowhere in David Linden’s new book, The Compass of Pleasure, does it say that heroin is among their drugs of choice.

Apparently, though, it seems that Danielle Blankenship of Boulder, Colo., decided to perform an unofficial experiment with animal drug metabolism by blowing heroin smoke in a cat’s face.

Muffin the cat was found unconscious at the bottom of a flight of stairs after police responded to a domestic incident between Blankenship and her boyfriend. Officer Gregory Perry tried unsuccessfully to rouse the cat, at which point Blankenship’s boyfriend told Perry that she had been smoking heroin and blew it in the cat’s face.

Blankenship predictably responded that she’d never hurt the cat.

Oh no, Ovvizer! I woon’t do that *nods off*

The cat was taken to an emergency clinic, where vets treated her for poisoning. Although Muffin rallied briefly, she died later that day.

Blankenship is free on $1,500 bond and due in court next month to face charges of third-degree assault and misdemeanor animal cruelty. A necropsy will be performed to determine whether or not Muffin died of heroin poisoning. If she did, Blankenship could face felony charges.

Of course, I imagine the felony charges will be more along the lines of possession of narcotics rather than animal abuse.

Yeah, it’s pretty clear that Blankenship has a drug problem: I mean, look at her face in that mug shot up there — it looks like a “before” picture from Intervention. But how much of a hot mess do you have to be to think it’s an awesome and funny idea to blow heroin smoke in your cat’s face?

Stay classy there, Danielle.

I can only hope that justice will be served, that Blankenship gets the help she needs, and that this story will be an object lesson in the stupidity and cruelty of dosing cats (or any animals at all, for that matter) with drugs.