June has a lot of special days: Flip a Coin Day, National Rocky Road Day, Leave the Office Early Day, Hot Air Balloon Day, Best Friends Day, and about 40 others, according to the site Days of the Year.
What it does not have, however, are any holidays and special days for cats. We had to go deeper, nearly to the end of the Internet, to find these special days for cats — but find them we did, right next to a daguerreotype from 1861 of a cat playing a pipe organ.
Here are June’s holidays and special days for cats
Cats are encouraged to eat a whole chicken on Eat a Whole Chicken Day. The chicken does not have to be alive, but hey, what a fun day that would be.
On this day all the faucets in all the rooms in all the homes are traditionally left open, with a thin stream running, all day. Outside hoses, too. Office buildings are no exception — a cat might make it inside one.
For one day a year, cat owners must express joy and admiration upon discovering cat vomit. It’s sort of an anti-holiday, but the cats don’t know that. The cats just think you’re finally coming around to the wonders of vomit.
Just the first part of a multi-pronged political effort to bathroom doors permanently nailed open, because what are you doing in there without me?
This is traditionally celebrated early in the morning, when cat owners first enter the living room, stop, smile, and say through clenched teeth, “A hairball for me? Oh, it’s beautiful! Let’s leave it out all day, shall we?” They they cry on the toilet (with the door open).
This is like spring break for cats. They don’t remember it.
On this day everybody in the world must grill a salmon, plate it simply, and leave it where a cat might find it — ideally, right in front of a cat.
Started by a chill cat who thinks the world needs to be more aware of catnip.
Not all cats are lap cats, but on this day all laps must be offered to cats, in case they might want to sample one. Basically cats just want you to sit around all day and do nothing with them.
This isn’t really a true holiday, just something a small faction of renegade housecats in Iowa tried to get going in the early ’80s. Before they were stopped, they controlled half the state and were printing their own money.
Only applies to people who work with or among fish and whole chickens.
Finally, a cat gets a little privacy around here. Can you please put the dog outside, too? Nap time’s in five, sport.
Is your human asleep? Is it 3 a.m.? You know what to do.
Just buy your kitty a fresh crinkle ball and get the hell out of the way.
Can you think of any more special days for cats? Let us know in the comments!
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