Is Garfield--Not Skeezix--First in the Hearts of Catsters?
Hey evrybuddy, Skeezix here. This week thare's a Catster pole asking hoo yer all-time faverite famous cat is. Maybey it's becuz Garfeeld is listed ferst and I'm listed last, but I am lagging vary far behind Garfeeld (hoo, by the way has NO fashun sense) in the voting.
This has reezulted in a big crisis in self-esteem for me. Maybe even an existenshul crisis. And other werries, too. Like maybe TR will wunt to hire Garfeeld as the Catster blogger insted of me. So I'm riting a list of the akshuns I need to take to better pozition myself to win a popyularity pole aginst Garfeeld:
- Eet lots of lazagne. (Mite be tuff. Fansy Feest duzn't make lazagne.)
- Die my furs orange. (Looks good on Calvin, but it's not reely my color.)
- Git a sidekik like Odie. (Any takers?)
- Make over a billyun dollars in merchandizing revenoo eech yeer (Obviusly, my Zazzle shop just isn't cutting it.)
- Make sum feecher films. (How do I git the Hollywood Bigwigs to take a meeting?)
- Gane 20 pownds. (I eet 5 cans of Fansy Feest a day, and I'm still only slitely beefier than Barney Fife. Any sugjeschuns?)
Any ideas yoo have will be vary much appreshiated. And if yoo have a minit, pleeze cast a vote for me. Or "MOI" as Garfield might say (or was that Miss Piggy? I get those porkers mixed up.)