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Let's Play "What It Is Vs. What My Cat Thinks It is"

My cat and I have different ideas about what things are, like a handheld power vac and friends who ring the doorbell.

 |  Sep 25th 2012  |   12 Contributions


I think it's a doorbell, while my cat thinks it's a warhorn sounded by the hounds of Hell. One of us has to be wrong. I think my cat is wrong.

What it is:

Recently re-covered ottoman, which cost a lot of money.

Is the towel really necessary?

What my cat thinks it is:

Recently re-covered thing to claw to death, and what is money?

What it is:

A nifty 2.1-pound device from Black and Decker.

You don't scare me. Wait, you scare me.

What my cat thinks it is:

An end-of-the-world doomsday device dipped in poison and casually carried around the house by her owner (me), suddenly unmasked as the Deathbringer. (Only kills everything when switched on, however.)

What it is:

It's a doorbell.

Hmm, sounds like a massacre out there.

What my cat thinks it is:

A warhorn signaling her imminent death lest she make it under the bed in 2.3 seconds. 

What it is:

A $10 scratching tray.

Fine, I like it. Stop acting so pleased with yourself.

What my cat thinks it is:

$10 scratching tray PLUS an unexpectedly nice place to nap on all afternoon. I feel like the best gift giver in the world.

What it is:

Some sort of rodent that has taken up residence in the bushes.

I can wait here all day. Actually, I prefer to.

What my cat thinks it is:

Apparently it's a friend, since she refuses to make a proper go at it.

What it is:

It's healthy new cat food.

Is that feces? That looks like feces.

What my cat thinks it is:

Hard to say. The cat won't get within two feet of it.

What it is:

3 a.m.

Why are you sleeping when you should be making breakfast? It's 3 a.m. for God's sake!

What my cat thinks it is:

As good a time as any to wake everybody up for breakfast.

What it is:

A bowl of water.

Hah. Good one.

What my cat thinks it is:

Completely unacceptable. You can turn on the faucet now, thanks.

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