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Vaguebooking Cat Annoys Us With 10 Cryptic Facebook Status Lines

Vaguebooking is a great way to release passive aggressive ammo into your pool of Facebook friends -- and who's more passive aggressive than a cat?

Angie Bailey  |  Dec 24th 2013

Even though you may not be familiar with the term “vaguebooking,” I’m quite certain you’ve seen an array of examples of it while perusing your Facebook newsfeed. Vaguebooking is demonstrated when someone writes a completely vague status line that begs for comments like, “What’s wrong?” or “Who are you talking about?” or “Poor you!” In other words, the person writing is fishing for attention. The funny part is, sometimes the offender will end the status line with, “Don’t ask,” clearly asking their codependent buddies to indeed ask.

Vaguebooking is also a fabulous tool for releasing lots of passive-aggressive ammo into your pool of friends, hoping the one to whom you’re actually referring sees the post. Meanwhile, your besties get to worry about you and bolster your fragile, emo self.

There are complete sites, including this Tumblr one, that features examples of this annoying social media habit. Most vaguebookers seem to be teenage girls; however, I think cats would have a natural affinity to this type of cryptic, attention-seeking vehicle. I mean, who’s more emo than a cat?

Let’s say there was this cat named Boots McGill. And let’s say he had a Facebook page and a nasty habit of annoying his friends with excessive vaguebooking. Here are 10 posts I think he would write.

What would your vaguebooking cat’s status line say? Tell us in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.