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The Top 4 Spring Break Destinations — For Cats

Many popular vacation sites are now catering to cats. Well, sort of. (But not really.)

Michael Leaverton  |  Apr 2nd 2013


Why should cats have to stay at home during spring break? Pack ’em a suitcase and put ’em on a plane. Here’s where they should go:

1. Las Vegas

What’s better than Vegas for cats on spring break? I can’t think of anything.

Activities include:

  • Sliding poker chips off the table one by one
  • Not going in the pool
  • Taking day tours to “old Vegas” casinos to kill rats
  • Hissing at seniors at the seafood buffet
  • Being cradled in the arms of old-time hotel boss

VIP package includes a penthouse with a shallow fish tank, a sun-puddle advisor, and a bathtub-sized litter box.

2. Cancun

Mexico is the ideal place for cats to explore their hedonistic side with intoxicated college students.

Activities include:

  • Not going in the pool
  • Hooking up with the local tom
  • Weaving around empties in the morning
  • Sleeping on the beach with intoxicated college students (also vomiting there)
  • And crapping there!
  • Wet kibble contests
  • More vomiting — NO SHAME

3. A cruise to Alaska

Going on a cruise ship to Alaska is the perfect spring break vacation for kitties who have no idea what they’re doing at any time whatsoever.

Activities include:

  • Staying belowdecks because ahhhhhhh water everywhere
  • Getting adopted by seniors
  • Not going in the pool
  • Wondering when this madness will end
  • Eating more in two weeks than you’ll eat for the rest of your life

4. Survivalist camp

At survivalist camp, soft, indoor cats get the chance to experience thrill of being a feral cat for two weeks, albeit with emergency chicken and a licensed vet at the ready.

Activities include:

  • Caterwauling till dawn
  • Ganging up on a possum
  • Finding something edible in a garbage can behind a Chinese restaurant
  • Traveling to a nice neighborhood to meet Persians
  • Darting through simulated traffic
  • Waking up half the neighborhood with some infernal racket
  • Hissing at trap-neuter-return folk
  • Finally accepting the love and kindness of a local homeowner with a giant sack of Meow Mix
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