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Texts from Mittens: The May Flowers Edition

Mom withholds flowers, Drunk Patty has gone rogue and is about to mow down catnip plants, and Grandma hasn't been spayed. Mittens texts!

Angie Bailey  |  Apr 27th 2016


It’s almost May, and Mittens has one thing on his mind: flowers. He’s a known flower-chomper, and that’s exactly why Mom doesn’t keep flowers in the house — even the nontoxic ones. This does not bode well for our favorite texting cat, so — in typical Mitty fashion — he pushes limits. Does it get him anywhere? Well, you’ll have to read on to find the answer to that question, but I’m pretty sure you already know it.

Mittens’ horrors don’t end there, friends. Drunk Patty has gone rogue on the riding mower and will certainly destroy the patch of catnip plants, Mom won’t take care of Mittens’ impending virus, and Grandma doesn’t have enough teats to feed a whole litter. So much confusion! So many atrocities!

Here’s more on the recent woes of a certain tuxie we know.

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Somebody stop her!

Somebody stop her!

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"Grandma's not spayed! What is this terrible news?"

“Grandma’s not spayed! What is this terrible news?”

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"Pen caps."

“Pen caps.”

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