Texts From Mittens
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Texts From Mittens: The Fourth of July Edition

Grandma brings Mittens a jumpsuit; Drunk Patty and her boyfriend want to help him with a treat-eating contest, but Mom intervenes. He texts!

Angie Bailey  |  Jul 1st 2015


The Fourth of July is quickly approaching and Mittens thought he might get away with going costume-less this year. Wrong! As usual, Grandma’s provided some horrific little number for Mitty to model. He’s not interested in looking like Evel Knievel, and he feels like a treat-eating contest would be an excellent way to demonstrate his toughness. Drunk Patty’s boyfriend even offered to help Mittens train. With the help of a professional competitive eater, how could he go wrong? Then Mom decides to pull the Grandma card. No fair!

As if that weren’t the worst ever, Stumpy has overtaken Mitty’s “vintage” ginger ale box, and there’s no alarm system in the house. What’s to stop a thief from breaking in and burglarizing his new catnip cigar? So much stress, so little time.

Here’s what’s happening in Mitten’s world this holiday week.

1-contest 1

2-book_club

3-contest 2

4-vintage

5-contest 3

6-alarm_system

7-contest-4

8-contest 5

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.