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6 Support Groups Cats Would Join

We bet you know kitties who could use Rug Pukers Anonymous or Rodent-Watching Addicts.

Angie Bailey  |  Jul 20th 2015


Cats usually live a shameless life, and they do what they want when they want to do it. They don’t know the meaning of the word “guilt,” do they?

Some kitties, however, do feel the need to repent for their excessive behavior. Thankfully, there are support groups for such felines. Here are six of them.

1. Friends and Family of Shoe Sniffers

In general, cats can’t resist a whiff or 12 of a ripe shoe, especially if it’s still warm with stinky human fragrance. Occasionally, they find themselves obsessed with the cat-shoe relationship and seek help. These groups are usually small in number because cats rarely agree to give up such a pleasure, even if it interferes with their nap time.

"My name is Maurice, and I’m a shoe sniff-a-holic. My sole seeks help. LOL."

“My name is Maurice, and I’m a shoe sniff-a-holic. My sole seeks help. LOL.”

2. Rug Pukers Anonymous

Cats have a knack for skipping hard surfaces and going straight for a rug or carpeted surface when they begin gagging. They just can’t seem to help themselves. Usually they couldn’t care less if this rug-puking upsets humans, but some cats are people pleasers and want to break the habit.

My name is Pickle, and I’m a rug puker. There – I said it.

My name is Pickle, and I’m a rug puker. There – I said it.

3. Tissue Issues

Tissue boxes are cat magnets for some kitties. Not only can they make a game out of pulling tissues from the box, they chew the tissues and, once it’s emptied, have a box for a toy. This is no good on many levels. First, it’s bad news for cats to chew tissues, and it’s terrible news when we humans need to blow our runny noses and the slobbery tissues are strewn across the floor. When cats realize they have an uncontrollable tissue issue, they seek a local support group, which welcomes them with open paws. They understand.

"My name is Peaches, and I need a tissue box. Now."

“My name is Peaches, and I need a tissue box. Now.”

4. I Steal Food, Please Help Me

Cats are opportunists, especially when it comes to food. They go wild for any bit of crumb on the floor and are always on alert for when a plate is left unattended. Sometimes cats know they have a real problem and are willing to tackle it head-on. This is when they seek the “I Steal Food, Please Help Me” support group. Reformed food thieves are ready to share their experiences and tips for keeping their paws off human food as well as other cats’ chow. Discounts are available for overweight cats.

"My name is Cupcake, and I can’t stop stealing food."

“My name is Cupcake, and I can’t stop stealing food.”

5. Box Bullies

Boxes are hot real estate in homes where cats live. Sometimes more than one cat covets a particular box. The box bully makes sure she’s the one who gets the object of desire, even if it means intimidating the current box-squatter. Like humans, some bullies eventually realize the error in their ways and decide they need to make some life changes. The Box Bullies support group includes a bit of anger management training as well as a short series on box-related mindfulness.

"My name is Mr. Boots, and I am a giant box-bully. Please forgive me.”

“My name is Mr. Boots, and I am a giant box-bully. Please forgive me.”

6. Rodent-Watching Addicts

Typical cats enjoy time spent watching rodents sprint across the yard and climb tree branches. Most cats can handle this activity in moderation and take breaks to eat, play, or nap in the sun. When a cat spends hour upon hour with his glazed eyes open, unwaveringly focused on squirrels, chipmunks, and mice, the cat becomes sleep deprived (it’s true), and even begins to tune out sounds of crinkly treat bags. Yeah, it can get that bad. That’s when such cats find their local rodent-watching addicts group. It’s OK to ask for help.

"My name is Eduardo, and I’m a sleep-deprived, chipmunk-watching addict.”

“My name is Eduardo, and I’m a sleep-deprived, chipmunk-watching addict.”

What kind of support group would your cat attend? Tell us in the comments!

Read more by Angie Bailey

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.