Editor’s Note: Welcome to the first installment of our periodic Fake Cat News column. We figure cat news can be so serious, and there’s plenty of room to Onion it up. Do not be alarmed, none of the events recounted below are real.
Last week, Karl Weatherly was about to leave for work when he noticed his cat, Lamby, swatting the Fling-ama-String toy affixed to the doorknob in the den — which was, as far as Karl could determine, the first time Lamby had touched or even looked at the complicated string toy since receiving it on Christmas Day 2014, nearly 12 months ago.
“Look, the tag is still on it,” said Karl, admiring Lamby’s reflexes as she darted her paw at the $25.99 interactive cat gizmo. “I just knew she would love the Fling-ama-String.”
He added, “I guess it just took her eleven and a half months to warm up to it.”
Karl bought the gift at his local pet supply store roughly three weeks before Christmas 2014, after learning about the Fling-ama-String in an online gift guide and then scouring the Web for reviews. After debating whether $25.99 was too much for a cat toy, he called around to local stores and found one that stocked the device. He thought he’d have a look at one in person.
“The clerk recommended it. It had good reviews. I remember they had a little display with a video showing a cat having a great time with it, and I just knew that was ‘the toy’ for Lamby,” said Karl, as he watched his cat finally play with her gift nearly 12 months after receiving it.
Karl recounted to this reporter how on Christmas morning he presented the wrapped gift to Lamby, who tentatively pawed at the box before heading into another room to nap. Karl unwrapped the Fling-ama-String and followed Lamby into the other room, explaining in great detail the fun she would have trying to catch the Fling-ama-String and encouraging her to at least look at the toy.
“She’s determined, she is,” he said. “Once she made up her mind to not look at the Fling-ama-String, that was it. It was like the it didn’t exist. I would hold the Fling-ama-String right in front of her face and she would look right through it. It was little unsettling, it being Christmas and all.
“So I hung it up on the door in the den, where she likes to nap. After a week or two we both forgot about it.”
Twelve months later, Lamby is singing a different tune.
“Look at her go,” said Karl. “You’d never think she completely ignored this thing for nearly a year, would you?”
“She’s getting a Peek a Prize Toy Box this year,” he added in a quiet voice. “Had to pay a little extra for shipping, but it’ll be worth it to get it by Christmas.”
And with that, Lamby abruptly stopped playing with the the Fling-ama-String and walked out of the room.
“You should see the Peek a Prize Toy Box,” said Karl. “She’ll love it.”
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