Folks, we’ve got a problem. These cats have made the most of your time away from the house and have done a little “creative redecorating.” Okay, actually? Whatever — no cat poop this time — these cats were just bored and decided to make a mess because they like the look on your face when you come home to the results of their feline havoc.
And when you yell and pull your hair out, they just twirl their tails and coil up around your legs, meowing about dinner. Know why? Because they have exactly zero fluffs to give. In fact, they are fluff bankrupt. They have negative fluffs in their fluff accounts. There’s a chance of a government-backed bailout, but probably not.
No fluffs to give. Nada.
This cat decided he didn’t like your smelly socks in his drawer. He would give a fluff about your opinion, but — oh yeah — he has none.
This cat’s mouth is open, miming a ZERO, which is how many fluffs he has to give about the fact that he knocked a sleeve of crackers onto your floor and then batted them around like so many crunchy hockey pucks. Now where’s the cheese?
The look this cat is wearing says, very sweetly, “Sir, I have no fluffs. If I wrote you a check for a single fluff, the check would bounce.” Then she blamed the robot. SURE BLAME THE ROBOT WHY DON’T YOU.
You thought you could bring that cute dude or dudette home? Absolutely not. Kitty here doesn’t give a fluff how embarrassed you are. This is revenge for the one time you locked her out of the bathroom. Fluffs to give? NONE.
“Would you like a fluff? Yes? TOO BAD.”
“No I do not give a fluff that you now have nothing to wipe your butt with. Use the carpet like the dog does, for goodness sake!”
The amount of fluffs this cat has to give is the same amount of yarn you now have to knit with — none.
This cat will have to write you an IOU for fluffs.
Catnip junkie cat obviously has hit rock bottom … of fluffs.
The dogs will be blamed and no fluffs will be given.
Now let’s see similar photos of your cats!
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About Liz Acosta: Catster’s former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site’s daily “Awws,” only now she also wrangles Catster’s social media. That’s why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and — her personal favorite — Instagram. See ya there!
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