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6 Conventions Your Cat Wants to Attend

To register for the Feline Apathy Guild Annual Conference, cats should ... oh, never mind.

 |  Jun 3rd 2013  |   11 Contributions


Many humans have grown accustomed to attending conferences or conventions, either for work or simply for an opportunity to dress up like their favorite Battlestar Galactica characters. In fact, I recently returned from BlogPaws, a pet blogging and social media conference. It was as much social as it was beneficial to my work. And the cheesecake? Insane.

Here I am dressed as Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess. I'm really just cosplay looking for a place to happen.

I've never attended a cosplay convention, but totally would. I went to school for theater, so I'm always looking for an opportunity to dress up. I should have shown up at BlogPaws dressed up as something kooky like a zombie feline version of Agent Scully from The X-Files. That'd actually be pretty cool ... and it's immediately going on my to-do costumery list. 

I think cats would have a heyday at conferences and conventions. Here are six they would enjoy attending.

1.  World Nap Association Convention and Trade Show

Cats are known to get wasted on nip and pass out at these conferences. Photo by eugenethephotobug

Cats love to nap and are always looking for new an interesting ways to catch some Z's. At the World Nap Association Convention and Trade Show, they can attend workshops facilitated by world renowned feline snooze experts. This year, tickets sold out in record time because Dr. Stripey McGravy led beginner as well as advanced sessions titled "Napping Positions Your Mother Never Told You About." 

2. The Feline Apathy Guild Annual Conference

Cats love the hands-on workshop where they practice mirroring looks of indifference with industry experts. Photo of Hector by Nicky Westbrook.

Members of the Feline Apathy Guild are usually late to register because they lose interest after reading the first paragraph of the invitation. As the date grows closer, they realize they probably should attend. After all, they should always stay current with new findings and methodology in the field of feline apathy. Plus, the keynote speech this year will be stage star Smokey Sullivan's "Give My Disregards to Broadway." 

3. Human Management Conference

As the keynote speaker encourages, "The pillow is yours. Claim it."

Kitties constantly seek updated methods for managing the humans in their lives. This intensive two-day conference has practical sessions with speakers and facilitators who are masters in their field of study. Due to popular demand, the "I Said, Open the Blinds!" workshop will return for a second year.

Between sessions, participants can choose between the casual "Power-Pawing on the Door" gathering or enjoy some down time in the Nap Zone. Newbies are invited to come early to participate in a mixer, where there will be various treats, water fountains, and a special musical performance by "Down With People."

4. N.I.P. (Network of Internet Pussycats) Conference

Whether you're a cat with a video already on the Internet, or you're simply dreaming of a career on YouTube or Vine, you're invited to participate in this fun conference. Cats will have the opportunity to mingle with experienced cat Internet stars and join one of the popular breakout sessions like "Roomba Riding 101" and "High Velocity Box-Sliding." 

My Phoebe plans to attend and entered the video below in the N.I.P. "Make Me a Star" Awards. 

5. International Box and Lid Expo

Cats fight for the chance of being the pizza box model at the trade show. Photo by Laura_Innis

The International Box and Lid Expo is the premier gathering place for feline box enthusiasts from all corners of the world. The expo center boasts the largest display of boxes and lids and attendees are encouraged to test them all. Some of the crowd favorites are the containers that come with promises of food bits and grease, like pizza and doughnut boxes, and especially the lids.

6. FeedMe-Con

The cosplay at this conference is unmatched. Photo of Oscar by Natalie Huckelberry.

Cats who enjoy cosplay swarm to FeedMe-Con, which is a food-based convention for cats. The convention center (Oreo's basement) is lined with booths offering samples of the newest treats on the market, as well as tasty nibbles of cats' favorite human food. Last year, the line to meet Brighton, the giant bag of Cheetos, stretched up the stairs and through the kitchen. Get there early.

Come early if you want to meet the giant bag of Cheetos. Photo of Brighton by Teri Thorsteinson

What conference or convention would your cat attend? Tell us about it in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

Read more by Angie Bailey: 

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