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So I was at Whole Foods the other day (ask me how I managed to get out of there with groceries for one person for a week and a tab amounting to a modest $40 — it was not easy) and I was perusing the bread aisle because I love bread, and you know I’ve been working here too long when I imagined the bread as rows and rows of kitties sitting in loafs (don’t worry, no one was going to eat them). It was the most adorable flashback I’ve ever had. Then I blinked and the kitties turned back into bread and I was left with the decision of which overpriced hunk of carbohydrates I was going to take home with me.

But one thing stayed with me, which is this: What kind of different kitty loafs are there? I figured I would find out and share them with you.

1. The two-for-one

One whole wheat and one white loaf — for when you want to be half healthy but also love the taste of a classic peanut butter and jelly on white bread.

2. The orange cranberry loaf

Best served with a cup of coffee and a little bit of jam.

3. The “oh, you squished the bread in the grocery bag” loaf

You try carrying groceries on two different buses back to your apartment!

4. Traditional loaf

Served in a basket for that extra Americana charm.

5. Half-baked

Someone took him out of the oven too soon!

6. Two-for-one marble loaf

Mmm … chocolate and vanilla.

7. The “someone left your cat out in the rain” loaf

It took so long to make it.

8. Artisanal loaf

The packaging and pricing makes it seem desirable, but it tastes like cardboard.

9. The “baked by your mama” loaf

Tastes like home.

10. A cat-ette

With a slice of brie and prosciutto please!

What kind of your loaf is your cat? And here’s the big question that puzzles me: WHERE DO THE LEGS GO?!

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