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Friday Fanglish Cat Slang: Words Cats Use About Weather

What's screen-time, rain of terror, and glass of water? Read on! It's your weekly Fanglish lesson!

Angie Bailey  |  Apr 1st 2016


Indoor as well as outdoor cats have relationships with weather. Cats who live primarily inside have a front row seat to the current conditions by way of windows and doors, and of course cats who venture beyond the door feel it all firsthand. Like humans, kitties have definite opinions about types of weather, with all of us usually preferring the more temperate type.

The recent introduction of spring here in the U.S. seems like the perfect time to explore Fanglish cat slang words and terms associated with all kinds of weather. My feline informant delivers us a brand-spankin’ new list of Fanglish each week, and this edition is a good one! For those of you new to Fanglish, let me explain: It’s an underground lexicon of cat slang secretly spoken by kitties around the world. We humans are meant to be in the dark regarding all of this; however, a certain furry informant goes undercover and brings us fresh material each week. In exchange, he gets a nice bag of treats. He’s easy.

Why do we care about Fanglish? Well, don’t you want to know what your cats are doing when you’re not around? I sure do. Fanglish gives us a tiny peek into the world we were never meant to experience. World feline takeover could be in our future, and I want to have as much ammunition as possible. Cat slang just might be one of the best tools to have in our back pockets, friends. Maybe this takeover will never happen, but I’m a big believer in preparedness.

So if you’d like to stick around a while, we can dive into this week’s lesson together. The only rule is that you can’t speak a word of it around your cats. They can never know. If this is all a bit too uncomfortable for you, I totally get it. Go ahead … peace be with you. I’ll still be your friend when the feline overlords take command.

1. Feeling flaky

Having the desire to lick melting snow flakes from a human’s shoe that recently spent time outdoors.

“The Lady came inside from shoveling the driveway, and Mr. Puffypants found himself feeling flaky.”

2. Screen time

Screening callers.

Screening callers. Photo via Shutterstock

Time spent in a screened window or door, especially during periods of desirable weather.

“The Man opened the dining room window, and Taffy and Maxwell fought for screen time.”

3. Fan-fair

Equal time spent in front of a fan in the midst of particularly warm temperatures.

“The Man wanted to promote fan-fair, so he bought a large box fan that Peanut and Rhoda could use at the same time.”

4. Hot wings

"Bring on the wings."

“Bring on the wings.” Photo via Shutterstock

Birds that appear during the warm months of the year.

“After dinner, Lady Cupcake sought hot wings in the backyard.”

5. Cold open

The chilly rush of air that enters a home when a human opens the door during especially frigid weather.

“Even though Patches and Oprah heard The Lady’s car pull up in the driveway, they were taken aback by the cold open.”

6. Spring roll

"I love a fresh spring roll."

“I love a fresh spring roll.” Photo via Shutterstock

A happy cat’s back-and-forth roll when pleasant spring weather arrives.

“The Lady looked out the kitchen window and watched Tootsie Pie spring-roll across the back deck.”

7. Wind rider

A carrier-bound cat, riding in a car whose windows are open and allowing a breeze to flow through the vehicle. 

“Meatball didn’t mind riding in the carrier, as long as he could be a wind rider for at least part of the trip.”

8. Blare-ditch project

"This part is scary."

“This part is scary.” Photo via Shutterstock

The business of quickly leaving a main room and hiding after hearing the loud emergency-weather siren. 

“Buttercup and Luther came together for the blare-ditch project when the tornado sirens began sounding.”

9. Warm front

The chest and face of a cat that’s warmed by a sun beam.

“The Man opened the blinds and Bitsy experienced an immediate warm front.”

10. Rain of terror

"The terror!"

“The terror!” Photo via Shutterstock

Rain that pounds loudly against a window, frightening a cat.

“Caramel awoke from her peaceful nap in the window sill to a rain of terror.”

11. Bed, bath, and beyond

The places in a home a cat dashes when he hears loud thunder and lightening sounds associated with thunderstorms.

“After the first crash of thunder, Maxine, Fleabag, and Miss Kitty scattered to the bed, bath, and beyond.”

12. Glass of water

A glass window with liquid condensation on the inside that’s usually licked by a cat.

“Smokey was pleased because the change in temperature meant he’d enjoy a large glass of water.”