Facebook Topples Tower of Turd

What? Yes, you read that right. And fair warning: There's a picture of said Tower of Turd below. I don't even know where to start...

Dorian Wagner  |  Jan 20th 2012


What? Yes, you read that right. And fair warning: There’s a picture of said Tower of Turd below.

I don’t even know where to start because this whole thing is so ridiculous. I have been laughing (out loud, LOL-style) off and on about it since last night. And it’s still funny.

Here’s the scoop: Yesterday evening, I was going about my regular business and getting ready to clean up Pimp’s business. I grabbed the scooper, stooped down … and just cracked up. What was in front of me in that litter box was nothing short of an architectural phenomenon. We all love a good poop joke, but seriously, this particular turd was no joke.

So I did what any crazy cat person/blogger/social-media-oversharer would do and stuck my iPhone almost in the litter box to get the perfect angle and snapped a picture of the masterpiece. And posted it on my blog’s Facebook page. Duh. What else do you do with that stuff?!

This was the caption I had for it: “You guys, I’m sorry and I promise never to do this again, but I have never laughed so hard scooping the litter box. Is this not the tallest turd you’ve ever seen?!?! It’s like a Tower of Turd.”

I have to admit I was a *little* apprehensive about it. I thought I might lose a few “likes,” but I figured if they didn’t have my sense of humor, that’s okay. I knew most people would be cracking up just like I was. And oh, was I right. Apparently most of us are 12 years old.

Within two hours, the Tower has 150 likes and more than 100 comments, each one funnier than the next. People were praising Pimp on his artistic talents and trying to decide what this poop pile most resembled — Squidward from Spongebob? Mr. Hanky? Stonehenge? Someone even said they had bad eyes and thought it was a cute squirrel until they read the caption!

An impressive number shared that their cats have also pooped vertically, and confessed to having similar pile pictures of their own. Others said they have cats who pee in heart shapes. One woman boldly shared that her cat once peed in the shape of a penis. It was like, finally, here wasa space where we can all talk openly about what we have always thought was funny, but were afraid to tell everyone else about it.

One person thought it was AWESOME (yes, in all caps) that Pimp produced such a magnificent turd and doubly awesome that I posted a picture of it. Another commenter simply said: “And this is why I love you. :)”

Still others (Am I still praising poop here? Yes. Yes, I am) thanked me for brightening their day. One woman said she’d had surgery two days ago and was in a lot of pain, and this is the first time she’d laughed. Another said her day was sh*tty (okay, she didn’t actually use that word, but I can’t help but pun) and this made her smile and was just what she needed.

The Tower of Turd was a hit! I didn’t want anyone to miss out, so I even posted a link to it on my blog today, so everyone could go see.

And then, this morning I signed on to Facebook and was greeted with this:

Oh noes! The Tower of Turd was gone! Deleted! Censored!

Really, Facebook? A picture of CAT POOP violates the rules? I have friends with default pictures more offensive than this.

At a loss for words, I found some and posted about what they did back at the scene of the crime, on my Facebook page. And the comments started pouring in. I mean, the poop was really flying!

“What a load of crap!” “that’s really SH*TTY of facebook” “well if that dont stink!” “Holy crap!!!” “LOL!!! that is bs”

And, quite possibly, my new favorite Facebook comment of all time: “Shame on you, Facebook, may a thousand cats pee on your favourite pillow.”

It’s all really laughable, and I can’t believe how much fun I’ve all had at the expense of Pimp’s poop, and now Facebook’s stinky censorship policy. Who knew a tiny piece of turd (okay, not that tiny) could cause such emotion and reaction? I am 100 percent sure that the Tower received more comments than any other picture I’ve ever posted on Facebook. Ever.

But while I am laughing about it, I can’t help but think it’s also just kind of sad.

a.) Poop jokes are funny.

b.) Cat poop is a fact of life, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s ever taken or posted a picture of it. And, most importantly,

c.) There are pages on Facebook about animal abuse, those crazy naked chicks who are always trying to “friend” us, and a million other more offensive things the company could be deleting, but they’re picking on this?

So what do you think about the Tower of Turd? Funny? Disgusting? A little disgusting … but still hysterical? Let’s pretend this is Facebook: Leave more funny comments below!

Power to the Tower!