A clip popped up on the Internet on May 4, titled “Best Kitty Hug Ever,” showing a cat executing what most certainly is the best kitty hug ever. It currently has nearly 2 million views.
Ridiculous, right? Don’t you wish your kitty could do something like that? Well, she can. Just grab your kitty, press her nose to the screen and see what she gets from this.
Step 1. Act bored. Act like you’re not going to hand out the greatest bear hug the world has ever seen.
Step 2. Notice your person next to you, but just barely. Meow a bit. Act like you’re not going to blow his mind with the Mount Saint Helens of bear hugs.
Step 3. Meow a bit more, because it feels good.
Step 4. Gaze off into space for a second. Let everyone think you’re calling the whole thing off. Actually, really consider calling the whole thing off. Maybe a nap?
Step 5. Let your person make the first move. Make him think like he’s got some part in this whole thing, the greatest bear hug in the world. Hah. Humans are so sad.
Step 6. Raise up!
Step 7. Raise high!
Step 8. Praise kitty!
Step 9. Hug, dammit. Hug like you’ve never hugged before, hug like the world is ending and this sweet bastard is all you’ve got left in the world. Just hold on, kitty, hold on for one more day.
Step 10. Ask in no uncertain terms to be let down, thank you very much.
Step 11. Spend the rest of the day trying to get that Wilson Phillips song out of your head.
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