When I’m pet-sitting someone’s cat and the cat stands by the door and then looks up at me meowing plaintively, I’ll be an insensitive jerk and say, “Hahah, you’d like me to open this door for you and I hold all the power ’cause guess what? I’ve got a little evolutionary advantage called THUMBS.” And then I give the cat a double thumbs up, just to emphasize my point, and then walk away because the cat is not supposed to be outside anyway.
But then the cat follows me to the kitchen, where I am preparing his meal, and as I turn the knob on the can opener, again I say, “Oh, is this what you want? This can of food? That only I can open ’cause I have thumbs?” The cat eats and sulks.
Then I imagine the cat sneaks off to his hiding spot, where he sings a song like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, but instead of legs, he wishes for thumbs, and instead of being “part of your world,” he sings to himself, “to RULE your world.”
Sure, cats may have us wrapped around their little paws, but passive global domination isn’t nearly as satisfying as directly ruling the world. And thumbs are the obstacles preventing them from doing so.
I’m not sure why cats haven’t figured this out yet, but there are many among them with thumbs. The beloved polydactyl holds an esteemed place in the hearts of many, and includes kitties like Lil BUB, who has a whole mess of toes. They’ve always secured our hearts — what’s stopping them?
These 10 cats have thumbs and they’re about to wake up and take over the world.
Does your cat have any extra toes? And when she finally figures out how to use her thumbs to take over, what’s her first order of business going to be? Tell us in the comments!
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About Liz Acosta: Catster’s former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site’s daily “Awws,” only now she also wrangles Catster’s social media. That’s why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and — her personal favorite — Instagram. See ya there!