10 New Year's Resolutions These Cats Have Already Broken
While you're busy sipping champagne (which is full of calories) this New Year's eve, you might be promising yourself that this year is gonna be the one when you finally drop those final pesky pounds. But you'll worry about that officially on January 1 -- until then the calories don't count as long as you're thinking of getting rid of them and how much it will cost to sign up for that gym membership.
And then there's that moment where you're all, "Fluff it. Maybe in 2015." And you have another glass of champagne.
Just like these cats. Here are 10 New Year's resolutions that never had a chance:
1. Kick that drinking problem
"But it tastes so much better with my head stuck in the glass!"
2. Figure out how to open the door telepathically
"But my brain is the size of a peanut!"
3. Spend less time sitting on the couch
"But there's so much good stuff on the DVR!"
4. Kick that stinky shoe-huffing problem
"But I love the smell of toe fungus!"
5. Make the dog disappear
"But who will I blame the broken vase on?"
6. Drop 10 pounds
"But how will I seduce the humans to touch my tummy so I can enjoy the sweet reward of biting their hands?"
7. Don't let the humans commit this kind of humiliation
"But they promised treats!"
8. Grow a decent mustache and become Internet famous
"But hey, this isn't actually a mustache; this is just a weird spot on my face."
9. Kick that toilet paper shredding problem
"But it feels so good between my claws."
10. Stop letting the humans publish videos to the Internet without paying royalties
"But I'm ready for my closeup!"
What resolutions have you already made? (And broken?)
Let Catster make you laugh:
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- The Pros and Cons of My Cats as Health Care Providers
About Liz Acosta: Catster's former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site's daily "Awws," only now she also wrangles Catster's social media. That's why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and -- her personal favorite -- Instagram. See ya there!