Breaking news out of Japan this week, as its top scientists successfully bottled the scent of a cat’s forehead for consumption by humans — humans who want to smell a cat’s forehead from a spray bottle, that is.
This is great news.
The elixir is called this: Moho Mohu Odeko no Kaori Fabric Water. Which means this: Fluffy Forehead Fragrance Fabric Water. We’re going to pour cat forehead all over ourselves when we get some.
This alchemy took four months, with the head of Yamamoto Perfumery spending long nights “sniffing the foreheads of furry felines at cat cafes to check the similarity between fragrances.” Notice the quotation marks? Rocket News wrote all that, so it’s true. The head of Yamamoto Perfumery surely did develop cat forehead fabric water. What a great job and company and country.
Here’s what you do with it: You squirt it on fabrics, or right up your nose. Actually, just on fabrics. And then you cram your face into that fabric and take a deep breath, sucking in all that delicious cat forehead.
What does it smell like? We have a cat, so we smelled her forehead. It did not reveal much. Nothing we would spend four months trying to put into a bottle.
Really, Fluffy Forehead Fragrance Fabric Water could smell like anything. Maybe the head of Yamamoto Perfumery wanted it to smell like the platonic ideal of a cat, so it might smell really good. Like:
Or it could smell bad, considering what a cat forehead is liable to get into. Maybe like:
In any case, great job, everyone. If you can’t have a cat, you might as well have a pillow that smells like cat forehead; that’s what we always say.
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