Save Time and Money with the FURminator

Hey, evrybody, Skeezix heer! Today I’m gonna review a grate grooming product on the market called The FURminator.
I dont have many furs, but the cats I live with do. Rocky the Geezer Cat often wakes up the Food Lady with the sownd that NOBUDDY wants to heer at 6 am: bwah . bwah . bwah . bwaaaaaahhhh! It’s disgusting.Weve tride other fur-remooval tools, but the FURminator is the only one that has reely done the trik. Rocky loves it, and you wood not believe the amount of furs it remooves! Heers whut we got off of Rocky (left) and Mao (rite):
Thats enuf furs for a squillion hareballs!You have to be careful with it cuz it can scrape the skin if you furminate too hard. Rocky, like many cats, is hypersensitive on his back. So tell yer person to take it easy, and stop when yoo’ve had enuf. Both Mao and Rocky purr and purr win they have it done, cuz its kinda like going to the spa, and they love all the attenshun.

You probly alreddy know that grooming has long been touted as an exsellent way for people to bond with thare cats, providing an oppertoonity to look for lumps and tiks and sensitive spots, so that helth problems can be identified wile they are still easily treatable. And, grooming is the best defense against hareballs. With the FURminator, you’ll say, “Hasta la veesta, hareballs!”

 


Seeriusly, folks, hareballs are no laffing matter. Aside frum making yer lady skreem when she steps on them barefoot on the way to her litter box in the morning, they can cause a total intestinal blockage, wich can be life-threatening. You can find owt more about hareballs from Dr Eric Barchas, on Catsters Vetblog.
Now, you may be wundering what to do with those mountains of fur you end up with after furminating. Glad you asked! I use them for a pet project: I make my own cat-hare wigs! You can fashion many different styles. For exzample, heers my Amy Winehouse Bride-of-Frankenstine beehive:

 

And my personal favorite, the soft serve:
Go ahed, make yer own wig and send me the fotos! Ill post the best ones heer. You can try a mullet, a pompadoor the possibilities are endless!So as you can planely see, the Furminator is not only an important tool in maintaining yer health and wellness, but it can also supply you with the raw materials for a vary fun craft project! It comes in many kyoot colors as well as different widths (to accomodate widebody cats), and has a rubber handle that is easy to grip (for those with opposable thums).My only consern (and I coodn’t test this cuz nobuddy at owr howse has long furs) is that it may not be good for long-hared cats (at least, not if the fur is matted or tangled), becuz the teeth are vary close together.

I give the FURminator 4-1/2 stars.