All hail Meatwad! He’s a special needs cat who was born without his back legs, lost an ear during his days as a stray, gained an overbite, definitely has a dapper mustache going on, might be growing a unicorn horn, and is blessed with an Adult Swim-referential name.
That’s a lot to take in so let’s start unpacking the curious case of Meatwad.
“The moment I held him he hugged me, started purring, and began making biscuits on my shoulder,” says Kristin from Philadelphia’s vibrant anime-styled Kawaii Kitty Cafe, who chanced across the cat with her friend, Jess. “We knew he was special.”
While attempting to check out the rest of the convention, Jess found herself repeatedly returning to visit Meatwad.
“As the day was coming to an end I found Jess crying,” recalls Kristin. “She was upset that she had to leave Meatwad behind, so I said, ‘Okay, let’s adopt him.'”
At that point Meatwad found himself cruising down to Philadelphia in a car with Kristin and Jess — who decided to become what they call “happy co-parents” of Meatwad. (He currently resides with Kristin at her home in South Philadelphia.)
Once he touched down in Philadelphia, Meatwad set about tricking his humans into granting him a life of leisure. Born without his back legs — his little nubs have developed a pad on the bottom for protection — Kristin spent the first three days thinking that Meatwad couldn’t actually walk.
“He sat on my lap all day and didn’t move. I had to hand feed him and place him in the litter box,” she recalls. “I was ready for the big commitment because I loved him so much.”
But come the fourth day of Meatwad’s reign, Kristin woke up to find him pelting around at warp speed and enthusiastically meowing for his breakfast.
“Basically, I just served him hand and foot for three days — when he could walk, run and jump the entire time,” she says with a laugh. “But I seem to be his favorite person now, so it was worth it.”
Now that he’s settled into a routine at his forever home, Kristin describes Meatwad as being like “a toddler on espresso that can fall asleep at any time unannounced.” When he’s not napping, he scoots around like some magical “blur of stumbling white fluff” who also apparently sounds like the noise of the horses from the British comedy flick Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, and Meatwad is also growing a horn.
Yes, a horn.
While explaining how Meatwad lost his ear due to a “common treatable infection” back in his street-cat days, Kristin adds that his lack of a full set of ears only goes to add to his charm, along with positing the theory that “he’s growing a little horn directly on the top of his head.
“So I guess that makes him a unicorn?”
Stranger things have indeed happened.