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Loki the Vampire Kitty Has a Beautiful Set of Fangs

Found in a Vermont shelter, this fanged wonder has become a lovably scary social media star.

Phillip Mlynar  |  Oct 20th 2015


Just as we were all getting used to the idea of an alien cat invasion taking over the world as we know it, up pops a new subspecies of special kitty — the vampire cat. We are truly blessed to be living in such marvelous if uncertain times.

Anyway, the leader of this particular movement is Loki, a fang-enhanced kitty who likes to proudly call herself a “catpire.” Read on to get accustomed to her wonderfully sinister world while also finding out what your own feline can do to join her cause.

Loki’s story

Loki was adopted from the Humane Society of Chittenden County in South Burlington, Vermont, by Kaetlyn Koch, who was volunteering at the shelter at the time. “One morning I saw her little face on a poster on their desk,” she recalls. “She was being kept separately in a employee’s office as the other cats would attack her.”

After requesting to meet Loki, Kaetlyn ended up taking her home — wherein she showcased her shy nature and took a couple of months to warm up to her new human savior. Happily, Loki eventually accepted Kaetlyn into her life. Snuggles ensued.

Scared or scary cat?

Loki is blessed with a distinctive set of teeth and might seem like a fearsome feline at first. But while newcomers are advised to approach her with due respect — “No one else can really get too close to her yet,” says Kaetlyn — at heart she’s said to be an “incredibly sweet” cat.

“She’s the best companion animal I’ve ever had,” says Kaetlyn.

Fang-tastic!

Loki might possess a magnificent pair of protruding teeth, but do they adversely affect her all important feasting and snacking? Not according to Kaetlyn, who says, “Her teeth don’t seem to get in the way! She eats her hard food easily, and I also give her wet food as well.”

The freaks come out at night

Loki is one of the world’s foremost vampire kitties, but what if your own cat wants to step up and join this clandestine club? Well, according to Loki’s human, these are the entry requirements:

“A vampire cat must posses the skills to charm anyone she comes into contact with. One can’t help but be drawn to her. Her eyes can hypnotize you, and she can get you to do her bidding whenever. Also, she must be a master of hiding and not being found. She can fly, too.”

Kaetlyn then added that Loki once fell out of a four-story building — but landed safely and without injury!

Star of the show

Vampire books, movies, and spin-off TV shows are all the rage these days. It turns out our intrepid catpire would love to star in a version of the mockumentary What We Do In The Shadows. “Her charm and sass would fit in well with the plot,” says Kaetlyn. “Also, it’s a hilarious movie.”

All dressed up

If you peruse through Loki’s social media photostream, you’ll notice that she’s often wearing a natty blue hoodie. Is this because she’s part of the fashionista set?

Not exactly.

It turns out that she has an anxious habit of over-licking her leg. After Kaetlyn applies ointment to the patch to heal it, the sweater is used to keep Loki from licking it off.

All Hallows’ Eve

It won’t be long before the witching season is fully upon us and its gruesome glory spreads across the land. When the time comes for this year’s official Halloween festivities, it seems Loki has a cunning plan to sit in her window and “glare down on the the tricker or treaters and scare them away from our home.” That, and using her catpire powers to “protect our home from any intruding demonic creatures.” Sounds like one smart kitty.

Zip over to Loki’s Instagram or Facebook page to check out more pics of her feline fangs in action.

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About Phillip Mlynar: The self-appointed world’s foremost expert on rappers’ cats. When not penning posts on rap music, he can be found building DIY cat towers for his adopted domestic shorthair, Mimosa, and collecting Le Creuset cookware (in red). He has also invented cat sushi, but it’s not quite what you think it is.