Yesterday, Skeezix provided guidelines for cat owners when making their New Year’s resolutions. Now it’s my turn.

Kittehs, even though you are ALL pretty close to PURRfect, there are a few tweaks you could make in your daily habits that would improve life for those of us who buy your food and toys and treats.

Cat owners, feel free to chime in with any I’ve missed.


  1. Maintain a barf-free zone in the area beside my bed where I first step onto the floor with bare feet in the morning.
  2. Don’t boycott any food of which I just bought 4 cases because it was on sale and as of yesterday, was the only food on the planet you would eat.
  3. If you’re a geezer cat, stop playing that game where you hold your breath when I’m watching you nap, so I get all worried and shake you to see if you’re still alive.
  4. When I’m in bed, lying on my chest and purring is delightful. But face your booty downwind, please.
  5. Modify your breakfast time to coincide with my breakfast time. 4am is NOT my breakfast time.
  6. Listen, the house is YOURS, I’ll even deed it over to you. No need to mark every square inch.
  7. Cover your darned poops. You know who you are.
  8. Inside voice, please. You know who you are.
  9. I appreciate your need for artistic expression. But the Jackson Pollock treatment of the catbox and liner is a little over the top.
  10. Join the clean plate club.

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