There’s a great scene in the TV show The West Wing where President Barlett — who is clearly the greatest leader this nascent nation has ever had — guides his young aide, Charlie, through the process of completing his income tax return. After meddling, it turns out that Charlie actually owes money, thereby scuppering his plans to buy a fancy surround-sound TV system.
We hope you fared better this tax season and will soon be gleefully clutching your refund. That being said, here’s a feline-friendly guide in pictures to frittering the cash away in the fanciest manner possible.
You’ll need to invest in a sleek sports car — but this baby is strictly for napping on.
If your backyard isn’t an ocean stocked with fish, you’re not doing this right.
Upgrading that water fountain is all the rage this season.
If in doubt, keep it bedazzled. This Ragdoll knows that anything less is simply uncivilized.
Now is a good time to invest in some home help. A docile dog is a perfect servant — just make sure to let the brute know who’s the boss from day one.
Show your charitable side by gifting your human an upscale oil painting portrait.
Now for the most important lesson of all: Remember, the real bank is a mattress.
How would your cat spend an income tax refund? Let us know in the comments.
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About Phillip Mlynar: The self-appointed world’s foremost expert on rappers’ cats. When not penning posts on rap music, he can be found building DIY cat towers for his adopted domestic shorthair, Mimosa, and collecting Le Creuset cookware (in red). He has also invented cat sushi, but it’s not quite what you think it is.