I’ll start by saying telling you I have zero skills in the singing department. But do you think that stops me from belting the tunes when the spirit moves me? Negative. I’m that person who jacks the microphone on karaoke night and “treats” the audience to every song from the Grease soundtrack. What I lack in vocal ability, I more than make up for in expressive moves and style. And after several drinks, people are convinced I’m some sort of musical genius.
I remember once singing karaoke at a dive bar with my friend Adrienne. We’d just wailed all over some AC/DC and then I danced off to the ladies room. A woman in the bathroom recognized me (because of course by then I was famous). She locked herself into the stall next to mine and went on and on about how we’d totally killed — in a good way — “You Shook Me All Night Long.” I was elated and immediately offered her my autograph under the bathroom stall. OK, that’s a lie about the autograph, but she really was dazzled by my “artistry.”
You know who else is wowed by my talent? My cats. They love it when I sing to them. I usually make up parody songs, most of the time on the fly. The songs hardly ever sound the same twice. Cosmo is typically the recipient of the tunes because he’s such a mama’s boy and would probably sell his entire stash of catnip if I’d tote him around in a BabyBj├Ârn. When he’s snuggled up with me, I like to sing soft songs and sweet lullabies to him, like this one that’s sung to the tune of “You Are My Sunshine.”
You are my Cosmo, my only Cosmo
You make me happy when here you lay
You’ll never know dear how much I love you
Please don’t take my Cosmo away.
Other times I insert a few meows in my songs. I’m sometimes inspired by the Man in Black — “Ring of Fire” is a favorite, especially if I’m dancing with one of them.
I fell into a furry ring of meow-meow
I went down, down, down and the meows went higher
And it’s cute, cute, cute, the ring of meow-meow
The ring of meow.
I especially like to serenade my cats when I’m doling out treats. It’s become part of the routine. They know when they hear my dulcet tones wafting from the kitchen, good things are ahead. My singing voice = liver pellets and freeze-dried whitefish. Pavlovian Cats: The Musical.
Here’s a short video of me singing one of my favorite treat-songs. Remember, I warned you about my voice; however, if my sweet tune is music to your ears, I’ll be happy to give you an autograph. I’ll meet you in the bathroom stalls. That doesn’t sound creepy at all.
Occasionally I’ll sing to one of my girls and they pretend like they don’t hear me. I’ll even scoot up right next to them and they still ignore me — not even a cock of an ear or a twitch of a tail. What’s up with that? Cats are so funny. We have to work for their attention, don’t we? They’re not like dogs, who always seem to be ready and prepared to slobber and slather on the love. I think cats find joy in watching us look like complete idiots trying to even gain a glance in our direction. But like the obedient humans we are, we diligently keep at it. We snap, click our tongues and sing — simply for a morsel of feline approval.
So I’ll continue singing to my cats, whether or not they want to hear it, although I think they do. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they met secretly as a fan club.
Do you sing to your cat? Don’t be shy — tell us all about it in the comments!
About the Author: Angie Bailey is a goofy girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.
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