Humor
Share this image

5 Features My Cats Would Add to My Home if They Were Interior Designers

My cats appreciate our efforts at providing them cat trees and beds, but if they were in charge, our house would look much different.

 |  Mar 21st 2014  |   22 Contributions


Cat lovers try their best to provide comfort and fun for their beloved kitties. Many of us adorn our homes with cat trees, cubes, condos, shelves, beds and all kinds of dangly doo-dads. Certainly, they appreciate our efforts; however, if they were to design the interior of a home, they might make a few simple, inexpensive additions.

Here are five things I think my cats would include in a cat-tastic home makeover.

1. Drippy faucets galore

Cats would want all the faucets in the house set to permanently drip. Perhaps they'd enjoy some faucets dribbling at a faster pace and others providing a slow, teasing drip. Sure, this might increase the monthly water bill, but if we stop buying all those toys they never play with, it'd probably be a wash. Faucet ... wash ... get it? Ha.

2. Piles of laundry 

Saffy's so happy she added the "piles of laundry" option.

Kitties love a nice pile of laundry on which to flop. I do believe they'd make sure there were clumps of laundry situated in multiple spots in the home. They believe a comfortable pile of laundry should never be more than a few steps away. See, for cats, it's all about convenience. They want something, and they want it now. Surprised? I didn't think so.

3. Stacks of important papers

Phoebe finds the stacks of government paperwork to be the most comfortable.

Cats like to sit atop stacks of most anything, even if it only elevates them 1/8 of an inch. My cats promptly plop their butts right on top of any available stack. I've found they especially enjoy important papers that are lying on my desk. "Tax forms? I think they needs my brown star of approval!" I believe they'd arrange piles in various spots in the house, making sure some were important contracts, tax forms, and certified birth certificates.

4. Giant troughs of never-ending food

Yes, like this ... but WAY bigger! Photo: Alisha Vargas

My cats want to eat all day long. Phoebe is a grazer and can handle the responsibility of free-feeding; however, Saffy and Cosmo would inhale their bowls of chow and then run off to vomit because they ate so fast. This is one of the reasons we don't free-feed. If my cats had their choice, they'd have giant troughs of food and treats positioned in every room of the house. They'd probably also have to include a vomitorium addition. 

5. Wall-to-wall boxes

"Unstack the boxes and line 'em up!" Photo: Russell C

A very simple addition to any cat-designed home would be wall-to-wall boxes of all shapes and sizes. They'd have to perhaps only have a few rows, though, because they'd have to leave room for the piles of laundry and stacks of papers. Cats are smart -- I'm sure they could make it work. 

What features would your cat choose if he or she redesigned the interior of your house? Tell us about them in the comments! 

Laugh with us:

Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.  

Contributions

Tip: Creating a profile and avatar takes just a minute and is a great way to participate in Catster's community of people who are passionate about cats.

blog comments powered by Disqus