Earlier this year, I attended a preview showing of PetSmart’s 2014 range of Halloween costumes for pets. It was an event dominated by canine attire. This was of little surprise, what with dogs affecting a docile demeanor towards being turned into a clothes-horse and most cats being too enlightened to tolerate being gussied up in wacky outfits. Nevertheless, I ended up going home with a goodie bag full of freebies — one of which was a dog’s Wonder Woman costume, which I naturally decided to try and dress my cat Mimosa up in.
Yeah, it didn’t go well.
First up, all cats are blessed upon birth with an instinctive knowledge when you’re about to attempt to do something peculiar to them. So as soon as Mims saw me holding up the fancy Wonder Woman outfit, she began to take wary feline steps away from me.
Instead of cajoling her with treats, I decided to wait a minute and simply scoop her up while she was unaware — and then attempt to carry her into the kitchen where the fearsome Wonder Woman outfit was resting. This worked — sort of.
Unfortunately, as soon as the freakish Wonder Woman outfit was placed over her head, Mims took on the gaze of what I like to think is a very perturbed Russian peasant woman, possibly like a kitty matreshka. The look in her eyes was one of pure mortification.
As soon as I put Mims down on the floor, she shimmied and slinked her way out of the offending outfit. I offered treats as a form of reparation, but she wasn’t having any of it.
A week later, after all had returned to normal in the world of Mims, a small package turned up in the mail. I opened it to find a cat hat inside — another part of the 2014 Halloween range. This one was a panda (or a bear maybe). It proved to be a snugger fit, but Mims was still verily unimpressed with the idea of costumery.
So I embraced the true spirit of Halloween and did the decent thing — I hastily regifted the cat hat.
Will you be trying to dress your cat up this Halloween? Do you have photos to share? Comment in the section below.
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About Phillip Mlynar: The self-appointed world’s foremost expert on rappers’ cats. When not penning posts on rap music, he can be found building DIY cat towers for his adopted domestic shorthair, Mimosa, and collecting Le Creuset cookware (in red). He has also invented cat sushi, but it’s not quite what you think it is.