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Let’s face it: Cats are shady characters, prone to sneaking up on us when we least expect it to swipe a bite of cereal, show our toes who’s boss, or attack the drawstrings of our hoodies. In fact, if cats had opposable thumbs and were capable of being trained, they’d make excellent thieves — hence the term “cat burglar.” I’m pretty sure Bubba Lee Kinsey and Phoenix, with their brawn and charm, respectively, could operate a fairly successful catnip smuggling ring. As long as they gave me a taste, I wouldn’t even report them to the authorities.

Fortunately, my cats do not harbor criminal aspirations; I’m fairly sure their loftiest goal involves persuading me to give them as many treats as possible. But with those little padded paws, they’re still stealth masters — a lot like the five cats in these videos, who each have their own unique sneaky style.

1. Horror movie

This wide-eyed gray fella sneaks up on his his camera-wielding human like he’s filming a scene from a scary movie. You almost expect his head to rotate 360 degrees before his jaw unhinges to devour his prey, leaving only this one-minute recording as evidence — at least until, in typical feline style, he freaks out and runs away. This scene might require several takes.

2. Private investigator

Your girlfriend thinks you’re up to no good, so she hired this kitty to keep an eye on you. He totally does not think you can see him.

3. Slow-mo whack-a-mole

This “peeping tomcat” moves almost mechanically in and out of view, like a feline-speed version of that whack-a-mole carnival game. Give it your best shot — you’ve got plenty of time. Actually, it kind of feels like cheating. Let’s all take a 10-hour nap, and then we’ll try again.

4. Comedy (starring that guy from Jackass)

In a hilariously cruel prank, this cat sneaks up on — and scares the crap out of — his feline friend who is just trying to enjoy a forbidden stroll on the kitchen counter.

5. Comedy (starring Adam Sandler)

This video stars a fuzzy, gray kitten as a lovable doofus who just wants to learn how to sneak around without being seen. He must endure the disdain of his curmudgeonly mentor, a chubby Pug who takes the “tough love” approach.

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About Angela: This not-crazy-at-all cat lady loves to lint-roll her favorite dress and go out dancing. She also frequents the gym, the vegan coffee joint, and the warm patch of sunlight on the living room floor. She enjoys a good cat rescue story about kindness and decency overcoming the odds, and she’s an enthusiastic recipient of headbutts and purrs from her two cats, Bubba Lee Kinsey and Phoenix.