Der’s self-penned Facebook introduction makes a bold statement. “I believe my tongue has the ability to penetrate alternate realities,” he writes. “I control the minds of my humans and the other inhabitants of my dwelling.” Having perused through Der’s timeline, I’m not entirely convinced about the tongue-to-mind-control claims. Although I did unearth a bunch of facts about the fancy feline. Here are the best.
Der’s full name is Walter White — inspired by the character in the TV show Breaking Bad. But it’s said that this cat will also answer to nicknames like Derp, Bad Kitty, and Quit Peeing in the Sink.
Der resides on a farm, so he’s surrounded by llamas, goats, and donkeys all day. Unfortunately, this Exotic Shorthair doesn’t do well with hooved creatures — except, apparently, unicorns.
He is burdened with short legs. So as Der puts it, “When I jump I don’t always hit my target.” But he’s a plucky sort: “Never give up! Never give up!”
Der has a brother named Norm. Check him out in the background here — he’s the silver-looking Maine Coon.
Showing his kinky side, Der claims that he enjoys being “a Peeping Tom” while his family showers. “Did you know that they’re primarily hairless?” he asks.
Der’s favorite hobby is to get his claws stuck in the mesh of the window screens. “I tear little holes and wait,” he confesses, “then when an unsuspecting fly comes in we all party.”
Der is setting out to become a celebrity, with a spot on the Animal Planet show America’s Next Cat Star coming up on May 2. Stay tuned!
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About Phillip Mlynar: The self-appointed world’s foremost expert on rappers’ cats. When not penning posts on rap music, he can be found building DIY cat towers for his adopted domestic shorthair, Mimosa, and collecting Le Creuset cookware (in red). He has also invented cat sushi, but it’s not quite what you think it is.