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Has Your Cat Ever Hit You with an All-Out Cuteness Assault?

Bella began her charm-and-squee offensive before we moved, and I fear I might melt into nothing.

 |  Oct 2nd 2013  |   6 Contributions


All of our cats do cute things, but rarely does a cat pull out every weapon in her charm arsenal and deploy all of them at once.

Upside-down and basking in the sun

Bella fired her first salvo of cute in the days before our move to Seattle: She began sitting on her stomach with her rear legs stretched out behind her. I’ve seen dogs do this, but until that moment I’d never witnessed such behavior in a cat. Naturally I said “awwww” and took a few photos to capture the moment, but I didn’t think much of it until the next day -- when I noticed she was doing it again!

As the move day approached, Bella’s visits with me on the “strange white chair” in the bathroom also increased. Can I just tell you how hard it is to get off the porcelain throne when you’ve got a cat snuggled in your lap and purring loudly enough to register on the Richter scale?

At this point I figured she was behaving like this because she was craving reassurance, so I gave it to her. Lots and lots of it.

Apparently this treatment reinforced the idea that doing crazy-cute stuff was a Very Good Thing. Then she began her assault in earnest.

The minute I made my bed in my new home, Bella was on it, bathing in the afternoon sun that pours through the window in the bed nook. Once again, she assumed that most difficult of kitty yoga poses: the frog.

Furniture assembly took twice as long as usual because I had to spend five minutes petting and cooing over Bella for every five minutes I worked. More than once I narrowly averted head-butt-induced disasters.

And it only got worse from there.

"Jeez, Mama, it's taking you long enough to build this cat tree! Hurry up already!"

I could barely turn around without noticing some ridiculously cute thing Bella was doing. I was paralyzed: How was I supposed to accomplish anything when I had to run for the camera every 10 minutes to snap the latest Bella antics?

But I endured. After I finally got my desk built and my computer set up, I was ready to get back to work. I checked my email and caught up on Facebook, and just as I was about to begin writing, who should show up in my lap and drape herself over my arm like a blanket? Yup, that’s right: Belladonna Moonshadow Kelley herself.

How was I supposed to work like this?

Oh, that’s right: I wasn’t. My job is petting and lavishing adoration upon Bella, and I really ought to know that by now.

Bella's looking for a long-haired tom -- and modeling gigs for tasteful tail and yoga photos. At least, that's what her Whiskerslist ad says.

Alas, since Bella doesn’t pay me in cash (although the hours of purrs and bedtime cuddles she gives me in exchange for the affection I give her is a very fair trade), I must work. When I tell her that, she acknowledges my plea with a sigh. After all, where’s the cat food going to come from if I don’t have those precious green papers, right?

But the war's not over. Last night was the coup de grace: I could only film 20 seconds of this before I melted into a pile of squeeing goo.


(In a reader? Watch the video here.)

What am I going to do? Somebody save me from this cuteness before my goo-ified body starts seeping through the floorboards!

Has your cat ever waged an all-out cuteness assault? What do you think was his or her motivation? How many gazillions of photos did you take? Please share your war stories and photos in the comments!

Bella reminds me so much of my Dahlia sometimes ... *sigh*

About JaneA Kelley: Punk-rock cat mom, science nerd, animal shelter volunteer, and all-around geek with a passion for bad puns, intelligent conversation, and role-play adventure games. She gratefully and gracefully accepts her status as chief cat slave for her family of feline bloggers, who have been writing their cat advice column, Paws and Effect, since 2003. JaneA dreams of making a great living out of her love for cats.

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