Humor
Share this image

6 Products Cats Would Boost -- or Bust -- in TV Commercials

Cats can make any mattress look like heaven, but what about shampoo? Here's what would happen.

 |  Nov 12th 2013  |   5 Contributions


Cats sell. Advertisers have learned this, and proper feline placement in a commercial equals cash. It's become kind of hilarious just how true this is. Just take a look at the Catvertising spoof on YouTube, where ad execs play off the sensation of cat videos to create wildly successful marketing campaigns. 

It makes perfect sense for felines to make appearances in commercials for cameras, milk, and even clothing, but are cats the right choice for any and all products? Maybe not. Here are my thoughts on how some of these advertisements might play out.

1. Hemorrhoid cream

"Here for you ... and your sore bottom." Photo: Fonna

Is it possible that cats could help sell a product that soothes inflammation in the rectal region? I think so. I don't know about your cats, but mine have a particular penchant for sitting on my lap while I'm doing my "business." If I were to be nursing some anal annoyance, I think I'd like to have the comfort of a warm, fuzzy cat in my lap. I believe the marketing folks at the hemorrhoid cream companies would do well by including a shot of a cat on the lap of a toilet-bound person. And then the camera would slowly pan to a tube of cream on the bathroom counter ... and then back to the person's smiling face. 

"Cats ... not always the only pain in your butt."

2. Mattresses

"We love all the numbers." Photo: Alisha Vargas

Who better to advertise mattresses than cats? They can make any bed look like the most comfortable surface on the planet. They don't care about numbers or any of that Tempur-Pedic business. And they'd be the easiest actors ever. You'd just set them on the bed and they'd fall asleep. The trouble would come when the shoot was over -- someone would have to shake a bag of food from the green room to get them off the set. 

"Cats: might as well sleep 'around' them."

3. Shampoo

"Stop moaning and get out." Photo: Laura D'Alessandro

The bathroom is a cat magnet. My cats love joining me for the daily shower festivities. Cosmo sits on the edge of the tub and bats at my legs through the curtain. And then when I've stepped onto the bathmat, he jumps inside the tub and goes to town on the water droplets clinging to the walls and edge.

You know those commercials where the woman is lathering her hair and moaning in the shower? If a cat were in that commercial, he would be totally annoyed. They hate loud noises and would be completely impatient, waiting for the woman to get the hell out so he could quench his thirst. Selfish. I don't think cats would help sell shampoo. Not at all.

"Cats ... always looking out for No. 1."

4. Cars

"Buy the car." Photo: Shannon

In general, cats aren't fond of riding in cars. For sure mine aren't. As soon as their carriers slide into the back seat, the "singing" begins and doesn't end until we reach the vet's office. Plus, some cats I know poop when they're nervous. This wouldn't be so great on the set of a car commercial. I heard Miley Cyrus was fired once from a car commercial for singing and pooping. Not really.

"Cats ... when you want singing and pooping in the back seat (and Miley isn't available)."

5. Cabinet organizers

"Organize this." Photo: Jacob Davies

I love those crazy "As Seen on TV" commercials where the person opens the overhead kitchen cabinet and bowls and lids come tumbling out all over her. Can you imagine if cats were cast in one of these commercials? She'd open the cabinet and bowls and lids would tumble out, leaving only a couple of perfectly loafed cats staring at her. Or maybe the cats would tumble out on top of her as well? I think that actually might be kind of funny. Hey! Maybe the ad could be for a dual-purpose bowl/lid/cat organizer? The bowls nest, the lids pop together and then there would be a cat-shaped stacking device. 

"Cats ... better stacked than avalanching on top of you."

6. Tampons

"I'm totally absorbed." Photo: Bart Everson

Cats and tampons? Oh, this would be a disaster. The commercial would begin with a woman snuggled under a blanket with her kitty and a heating pad, trying to get some relief from menstrual cramps. Flash forward to the woman pulling a wrapped tampon out of a box and then we see a paw slapping it out of her hand, dumping over the box and swatting them all over the bathroom floor. 

"Cats ... Aunt Flo's pesky sidekick."

 What kind of products would you like to see cats advertise?

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

Read more by Angie Bailey:

Contributions

Tip: Creating a profile and avatar takes just a minute and is a great way to participate in Catster's community of people who are passionate about cats.

blog comments powered by Disqus