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6 Excuses That Are Hilarious if You Say “My Cat,” Not “My Kid”

To get a laugh, I envisioned my fur kids as the reason for turning down invitations to socialize.

Angie Bailey  |  Oct 2nd 2014


After I had kids, life got busier and I found I didn’t have the all the leisure time I once enjoyed as a freewheeling childless person. My kids had schedules, appointments and activities, and I wanted — and sometimes needed — to be present during those times. As my kids grew older, I found myself giving real, kid-related excuses as to why I couldn’t socialize with friends.

Recently it occurred to me how funny it would be if I gave those same excuses, except make them about my cats. I’d love to see my friends’ reactions! Here are some real excuses I’ve given, now with a feline spin.

1. “He’s marching at the game tonight”

My son has played percussion in marching band for a number of years, and I’ve attended my fair share of parades and football games. Homecoming is always special because the band gets to perform in the halftime show. I can’t miss that!

I’d love to go to a movie with you, but Cosmo’s marching in formation during the halftime show at the homecoming game tonight.

2. “I have to help him with his science project”

I’ve never been a mom who does her kids’ projects for them, but I’ve lent a helping hand here and there. I always loved the ones that were artsy and we got to build something.

I have to skip book club tonight, I’m helping Phoebe build a volcano for her science project.

3. “She’s winning an award for her art”

My daughter is an artist and I’ve attended several shows and award ceremonies in which her art was featured. I’m so proud of her accomplishments and wouldn’t miss those events for the world.

Your Tupperware party sounds fabulous, but Saffy’s receiving a blue ribbon for her mixed-media art tonight!

4. “I have to take him swimsuit shopping”

Every year, it’s off to Target to pick out new swimsuits for kids. Of course, we don’t realize they need new ones until they’ve been invited to a swimming birthday-party. Then it’s a bathing suit emergency.

We’ll have to postpone that coffee date — Cosmo desperately needs a new swimsuit.

5. “She has an orthodontist appointment”

My daughter was in braces for three solid years. We were no strangers to the orthodontist’s office — it was like Cheers, where everybody knows your name, except with orthodontia.

I’d love to go to the mall with you, but Saffy’s getting fitted for her retainer this afternoon.

6. “We have a college visit”

Last year our family spent several days visiting colleges, trying to find the perfect match for my soon-to-graduate daughter. These visits aren’t just in-and-out either. You might be sitting and touring and sitting and touring for an entire day.

Today would be a perfect day for the farmers’ market — thank you for asking, but we’re going to be spending the day touring the Minneapolis College of Art and Design wih Phoebe day.

What kind of silly feline-related excuses could you come up with? Share them in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in a comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.