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10 Kid-Friendly Cat Jokes to Tickle Your Whiskers

Do you like cat jokes? I do too -- and here are some of the best ones I've heard.

 |  May 29th 2014  |   12 Contributions


I've always loved jokes. Even as a small child, I made up funnies that I thought were hilarious. In retrospect, I think my parents just laughed out of politeness and to encourage me.

As an adult, I still love funny stuff -- in fact, most of what I write here on Catster is humor. And I'm a total sucker for puns and like to use them whenever possible, at least until my "audience" becomes annoyed. As a past theatre student, I think it would be hysterical to write an entire play using puns, but figure the whole thing would just be a play on words. Ha.

I was a silly kid. I will not show you my belly now.

It's true kids (and some adults) enjoy silly and simple jokes. And once they have a few good ones under their belts, they'll tell everyone they know ... multiple times. Well, I've collected 10 of what I think are pretty funny cat jokes, completely suitable for kids of all ages. You've likely heard some of these, but maybe you'll pick up a few to share with fellow silly-heads. I'll bet you smile (or groan) at least half a dozen times. Trust me -- I'm like I glue salesperson, I tend to stick to my word. Ha. 

On to the jokes!

Q: Why do cats make terrible storytellers?

A. They only have one tail!

But that tail is fantastic, and you'll want to experience it over and over again. 

"Wanna hear it again, kitty?" Photo: Shutterstock

Q. What kind of cats like to go bowling?

A: Alley cats!

My favorite part of this joke is picturing cats bowling. They'd probably just chase the ball, but their feet would look adorable in tiny bowling shoes.  

Q. Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?

A. Because he's always spotted.

Poor leopards. 

Q. Why did the cat run away from the tree?

A. Because he was afraid of the bark!

Just out of curiosity, I wonder if anyone has a dog named Bob Barker, because I think that would be marvelous. 

Q. What side of a cat has the most fur?

A: The outside!

I remember this joke from my childhood. It was one of those that made me stop for half a second and then double over in laughter. And it also made me feel a little bit dense because ... of course! And here I was trying to figure out some sort of logical reason why one side of a cat would be more furry than the other side. I'm still a card-carrying over-thinker.

 

"Meet my dog, Bob Barker." Photo: Shutterstock

Q. Where does a cat go when he loses his tail?

A: A retail store!

I didn't hear this one until I was an adult. It really tickled me, and I probably told it to everyone I knew. It still might be my all-time favorite cat joke.  

Q: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?

A: Too many cheetahs!

Haha! Another oldie but goodie! "I'm not playin' crazy eights with you -- you're nothin' but a cheetah!" I don't, however, think I'd actually ever say this to a real cheetah because he'd probably chew my face off, making him the winner by default. That doesn't seem quite fair. 

"Hi-larious!" Photo: Shutterstock

Q: What is a cat's way of keeping law and order?

A: Claw enforcement!

Visualizing cats in tiny police uniforms? Yes, please. 

Q: What do you do with a Blue Burmese?

A: Try and cheer her up!

This was a new one to me, and I think it's hilarious. I'll bet Blue Burmese cats are tired of people trying to cheer them up all the time. Or maybe they like all the attention. I've heard those Blue Burmese are kind of attention hogs. No I haven't.  

"Did you say 'mew-seum?' Hahahaha!" Photo: Shutterstock

Q: Where did the school kittens go for the field trip?

A: The mewseum!

"Hold hands with your field-trip partner, kittens!" Cuuuuute!

Do you know any funny, kid-friendly cat jokes? Share them in the comments!

Read More by Angie Bailey:

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in a comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. 

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