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Which of Your Cats Is the Fastest Runner in the House?

I tested my cats' speed upon hearing irresistible sounds. The results were unexpected ... sort of.

Angie Bailey  |  Nov 10th 2014


Experiment time! Oh, goody, you’re thinking, here she goes again. No, really — this one is super scientific and will blow you away. Well, that might be a bit (a lot) of an exaggeration. But so what? I like to conduct very important experiments with my cats, and you’re coming along for the ride.

The purpose of this experiment is to see which of my three cats would respond to a few of their favorite sounds. These are ones I know all three love because they mean something fun or delicious will follow.

Saffy’s the lazy one, so I fully expected that she’d be the last one to show her face — if she showed up at all. Cosmo and Phoebe are pretty even when it comes to activity, so I had no idea how that would affect the results.

The first sound was the shaking of a treat bag, which should be music to their ears. Here’s the result:

1. The cat-treat test

Cosmo was the first to arrive. He’s a treat hog, for sure, but I thought Phoebe would be close on his heels. She didn’t even emerge from her kitty bed! And in case you’re wondering, of course I gave him a treat. I take all of this science-stuff very seriously, but I’m no monster.

2. The jingle-ball test

Next up was the jingle-ball test. Honestly, I had no idea which cat would seek the source of the jingle first. Oh, and I even added a bit of a twist to the test! I stood inside the bathroom and closed the door a little, adding extra challenge. I know! Crazy, right?

Well, here’s what happened:

Cosmo again! Although he only stood in the doorway of the bathroom, he was the first to curiously check out the situation. Of course, his motive could have been to join me in the loo because he can’t possibly let me go alone. You know, I might get attacked by a jingle ball or something. Whatever the case, Cosmo came out on top.

3. The cat-food test

The magical rattle of cat food in the plastic tub is enough to send all three cats into an absolute frenzy! Let me take that back: The pop of the plastic tub’s lid is enough to create mayhem among my kitties. No matter the time of day, if they hear the telltale pop, they’re certain it’s mealtime.

Let’s see how this one goes:

What the …? OK, by this time I was wondering if the other two cats were purposely sabotaging my experiment, or if Cosmo was simply excited to receive anything I offered him.

“Hey, Cosmo — want this box of Rice-A-Roni?”

“Yesssss!”

4. The tape test

Lastly, I peeled off a piece of tape, a sound which normally sends Phoebe to Crazytown. She’s a tape fanatic, and is always up for the next fix. I just used regular transparent tape, the kind we use to wrap presents at Christmas.

Here’s how it went down:

Really? Here comes Cosmo! Did you see Phoebe lurking in the background, staring at me? She totally knew I was dispensing tape. This little move definitely confirmed my suspicion of sabotage. There was no other logical explanation.

So what was my takeaway from this little test? Cats can be unpredictable and defiant, and are possibly saboteurs. Also, Cosmo is obsessed with me, but I already knew that.

What sounds cause your cats to come running? Tell us in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.