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5 Things My Cats Do That’d Be Funnier With Laugh Tracks

Falling asleep standing up? Getting busted for counter-cruising? Better with canned laughter!

Angie Bailey  |  Jan 26th 2017


There’s something comforting to me about old TV shows with laugh tracks. They just seem to “go” with shows such as Bewitched, The Love Boat, and The Partridge Family. Heck, I think they even sound fine with the 1990s classics, Seinfeld and Friends. Somehow, the newer sitcoms don’t go as well with the whole laugh track dealio. The canned sound just sounds vintage to me, and I like it that way.

I think some real life situations could, however, be improved with the addition of laugh tracks — scenarios involving cats, for example. Cats are funny, and they can sometimes advance to completely hysterical. My cats, especially Cosmo, are a constant source of entertainment for me. I’m quite certain the entertainment value would be exponentially improved if an automatic laugh track happened after every silly thing they do. It’d sound something like this.

Here are five scenarios that deserve a laugh track.

1. Falling asleep standing up

"I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm awake. Wait a minute ..."

“I’m awake. I’m awake. I’m awake. Wait a minute …”

I absolutely love it when cats fall asleep while standing up. As their eyelids gradually begin to drop, their bodies slowly rock back and forth. Sometimes their heads even start to drop toward the floor. Typically, they jolt awake before their face actually makes contact with the surface. The whole process needs a laugh track: I’m talking about from the first eyelid droop to the final jolt. The track would begin with gentle giggles, and then erupt into full-on guffaws by the time kitty realizes what’s happening.

2. Refusal

Denied!

Denied!

Cats know what they want, and totally know what they don’t want. They’re usually not open to willingly change their minds about anything, either. They want to live life on their terms. This is especially true when it comes to cuddles and kisses. My desire to get my kitty cuddle on doesn’t always align with their desire to offer it up. It’s humorous when I go in for the lovin’, and they flat-out deny me. It’s like I’m not even there. If I ignore her she’ll go away. The moment of snarky refusal that’s written all over the cat’s face is the perfect spot for a laugh track.

3. Smelling something undesirable

"Um, no thanks. Where's that sock? I need to cleanse my nasal cavity."

“Um, no thanks. Where’s that sock? I need to cleanse my nasal cavity.”

Cats normally enjoy smells that we human find kinda gross. I’m talking about stinky socks and other cats’ butts. They do, however, turn their noses up at certain odors, and then they make the funniest faces in response to the scents. In my house, this tends to happen when I’m cooking or eating. They think they want whatever I’m having and become fixated with the food in my hands. If I’m using garlic or onions, I place my hand down so they can smell it, and then I say, “Is this what you want?” They make the most disgusted faces and can’t get away fast enough (insert laugh track). Needless to say, the fixation is gone. I suppose this is the same way I’d react if they tried to make me smell one of my son’s socks.

4. Recovering from something embarrassing

"What? I'm good. Carry on."

“What? I’m good. Carry on.”

Kitties are the kings and queens of “I meant to do that.” They lose their balance or try to catch a toy and miss it, and then they shake it off like the misstep was in the plan all along. They get all smug and then walk away, completely maintaining their sense of dignity. Cue the laugh track.

5. Getting busted

"What about my stealth?"

“What about my stealth?”

Kitties are sneaky little buggers — or else they think they are. They think we can’t hear them when they’re up to no good. I’ll hand it to them: They manage the undercover operation fairly well. Compared with dogs, they’re downright stealthy. They never expect to get caught cruising the kitchen counter or exploring pantry shelves, so when they are busted, their faces are full of disbelief. How could this have happened? I’m the picture of silence! That glorious moment of the “I’m busted” feline face is ideally suited for a laugh track.

What funny things does your cat do that would be hilarious with the addition of a laugh track?