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My Cats “Play” the Board-Game Life, and I Learn Some Things

Cosmo shows that he hates authority, while Phoebe is a furry little Martha Stewart.

Angie Bailey  |  Feb 10th 2015


I love board games. As an adult, I prefer Scrabble, but as a kid, the Game of Life was my absolute favorite. There were so many cool things I got to do when I played that game. I was an instant adult! I got a car (always pink), little peg spouse and children, a job, a house, stocks, and who can forget the Wheel of Fortune-style spinner? Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick — you can hear it, right?

We currently own the game, but haven’t played it as a family for a few years. My cats looked bored the other day, so I thought I’d share my favorite childhood game with them. I set it up, passed out the money, and got everyone situated. Well, let’s just say the game didn’t go as planned, but I did learn some interesting things about my cats while I watched them play.

1. Phoebe’s on her way to the big house

Phoebe played most of the game from inside the lid of the game. She bought stocks like a mad woman, but I noticed something that alarmed me. She was hiding some of them inside the lid! My Phoebe’s probably into inside trading and thinks she won’t get caught. I should put her in touch with Martha Stewart.

2. Money confuses Saffy

Saffy’s easily confused by most things. She’s gorgeous and sweet, but there’s not a whole lot happening upstairs. I had to explain the money thing to her, and I think she finally got it. Mostly she wanted to push the colorful currency around with her nose. Note to self: Do not ask for Saffy’s help when balancing the checkbook.

3. Cosmo doesn’t want to be a police officer

When it came to choosing jobs, Cosmo drew the police officer card. He hates authority, and no way did he want to be part of “the system.” In an act of subtle anarchy, he walked away from the board.

4. Cosmo is a quitter

Remember when Cosmo left after drawing the policer officer card? Well, it turns out he wanted to quit anytime anything happened that he didn’t like. No square on a game board was going to make him pay $10,000 for a wedding reception. See ya!

5. Phoebe and Cosmo leave their valuables unattended

That’s right. At one point, they both left the game board and decided to smack each other around for a little while. Meanwhile, Saffy was left alone with Life’s bounty. They either trusted Saffy, didn’t think she was smart enough to do anything dangerous, or simply didn’t care.

6. The patient one wins

Cosmo and Phoebe underestimated Saffy, who declared herself the grand prize winner and retired a millionaire. You see, sometimes the quiet one — the one who sits back and takes it all in — is the one who comes out on top. She may not know what to do with all that money in retirement, but I think I see a catnip farm in her future. Plus, she’ll have lots of time to visit Phoebe while she’s doing time.

7. I’m left to clean up the mess

I think the cats had fun with Life, and I enjoyed learning a little bit more about them while I observed their play. Of course, as soon as everyone was distracted by the next shiny thing, I was left with the mess. But before I organized the pieces and placed everything back into the little compartments of the box, I spun the wheel a few times — for old times’ sake.

What kind of board game would your cat like to play? Tell us about it in the comments!

Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.