I absolutely adore my cats — seriously, they are not lacking at all in the love and affection departments. I spend excessive amounts of time staring at their little features, rubbing their ears and feet, and listening to them purr. To me, a cat purr is one of the best noises ever. In fact, I love nearly all their cute little kitty noises … nearly all.

There’s no way we can possibly 100 percent dote on every aspect of every being — human and animal alike. I love many people but cannot stand to hear some of them make annoying sounds like when they chew food or crack their knuckles. It’s just the way it goes — we take one another for who we are, knowing there may be some behavior such as knuckle-cracking or butt-slurping in tow.

Here are five cat sounds that annoy me.

1. Butt-slurping

Anyone who lives with a cat knows this sound all too well. And those who live with dogs know it better and louder. Cats are impeccably clean animals, and that is one of my favorite feline qualities. My cats are constantly bathing themselves, and I smile uncontrollably when I see them lift their paws to wash their little faces. Cute overload, right?

Well, when my cats go to town on their rear region, it’s quite another story. I know they need to keep their little bottoms tidy, and I appreciate that, but do they have to do it so loudly and full of slurp? This is especially annoying when I am trying to work or sleep.

2. Door-pounding

I try to limit the number of closed doors in my house, or else face the wrath of tiny pounding paws. This is especially true of bathroom doors. Cats are obsessed with bathrooms. They seem to believe there must be something secret and amazing happening in there — and they’re going to miss it. Cats don’t want to miss anything. The pounding paws are least welcome when I’m covered in soap and shampoo.

3. Crunching the wrong food

Saffy eats special food, but that doesn’t stop her from trying to jack everyone else’s. We closely monitor feeding time so that won’t happen; however, sometimes we hear the awkward crunching sound coming from one of the other cat’s feeding areas. We can tell it’s Saffy because she has only a few teeth so the sound is, well, unique.

4. Whining

About an hour before breakfast and dinner time, Cosmo begins wandering around the house making a high-pitched whining sound. It’s nothing like his sweet meow — it’s a few octaves higher and much sharper. That cat is my best friend, but that whining noise is not the most pleasant way to wake up in the morning. C’mon, Cosmo!

5. Slobber-wrangling

Cosmo is a drooler. His excessive salivation usually happens when he’s purring, so it’s happy spittle. It’s like someone flipped on a tiny spit sprinkler inside his mouth and he can’t swallow it fast enough. Then he starts doing this motion that looks like he’s chewing air, but really he’s trying to wrangle his slobber. There’s a specific sound that goes along with the slobber-wrangling, and I can’t even think of how to accurately describe it. It’s a little like a combination of slicing oranges and slurping the last bit of a milkshake from of a straw.

What cat-sounds annoy you? Tell us about them in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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