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5 Ways My Cats Are as Annoying as They Are Adorable

"The Stalker Stare" and "Dr. Drool" are aggravating, but it's impossible to be mad when they're so cute.

 |  Nov 18th 2013  |   68 Contributions


My cats are absolutely adorable -- until they're not. And even then they're pretty darn irresistible. It's impossible to be mad at them when they look so cute or are mid-shenanigan. My knee-jerk reaction is usually an annoyed one, but then they quickly win me over and I melt like a scoop of gelato in July. Mmmm ... gelato.

It's a good thing they're so cute.

That's just how it goes around here. Cats: they never fail to entertain and surprise us, right? Here are five ways my cats are equal parts annoying and adorable. 

1. The call of the mighty huntress

If Saffy lived in the wild, I have no doubt she'd keep herself fed pretty well. Of my three, she seems to be the natural hunter. Although she's a slug, her paws are lightning-fast and she goes on extended hunting expeditions while we're trying to fall asleep. As I'm settling in for slumber, I'll hear the telltale guttural howl echo throughout the darkened house. She makes her way to the bedroom door and drops her "kill." Then she's back in the game.

Saffy: "But look what I hunted for you!"

Needless to say, it's challenging to sleep while this is happening. This is frustrating when I know I have to wake up early or am feeling a bout of insomnia coming on. Despite the nonstop call of the wild, my husband and I always wind up laughing, imagining our Big Saffy walking up the stairs with a giant hot pink toy mouse in her mouth and howling. And then it's always a surprise to find the pile of goodies outside our door in the morning. 

2. The frenzied paw

By now, I'm used to my cats wanting to join me during all my bathroom-related activities. I'm generally okay with that as long as they get their furry little butts in there before I close the door. If they don't, then it's a matter of moments before they begin banging on the door and desperately meowing. If I'm not able to let them in right away, this begins to grate on my nerves.

Cosmo: "That wasn't my paw."

Then comes the frenzied paw under the door and I absolutely lose it. What are they trying to do with that paw? "Look! Here I am! It's really me! Let me in!" Seriously, they think they will absolutely die if they don't get into that bathroom. And instantly. And the other hysterical piece is when I'm finally able to open the door, they act all calm, cool, and collected; nothing like that frantic feline on the edge of insanity from just seconds before. 

3. The stalker stare

Cosmo adores me. Although this is flattering and sweet, sometimes it borders on stalkerish. When he's not in my lap, he's staring at me. You know that uneasy feeling you get when someone is looking at you? That feeling has become a completely normal part of my day. 

Cosmo: "Hi."

I typically allow him in my lap, but if I'm working on something that requires me to get up and down quite a bit, I don't invite him up. This results in little green eyes boring into me while I try to concentrate on work. I adore Cosmo, but the constant staring does get a little unnerving. After a while, he wears me down and I end up at least picking him up for a quick snuggle. It's the total Puss-in-Boots effect. He's precious and I'm powerless. Dammit.

4. Dr. Drool

Cosmo's a happy drooler. So it's safe to say most anytime he's in my lap, he's saturating me with saliva. I'm not gonna lie: It's kind of gross. Initially I become irritated with the constant flood of slobber all over my clothing. Then I grab some TP, a paper towel, or sock (whatever's nearby), and wipe his little mouth like a baby. He lets me do it and it makes me smile every time. Then I place the wiper under his mouth to collect future runoff. 

5. Stop, thief!

Phoebe: "But I'm cute, right?"

Phoebe's been a little thief for as long a I can remember. She especially likes to swipe items off my dresser and out of the little wastebaskets around the house. Then she takes off like a bat out of hell -- that's how we know she's just lifted something. She usually hides behind the sofa or someplace else where she can enjoy her pilfered treasure in private. Our whole family goes from freaking out: "Mom! Phoebe's got something!!" to laughing at the sight or her tearing across the house with a giant piece of packing tape in her mouth. And all five of us humans are chasing her. It's a scene right out of a slapstick comedy. 

Do you think your cat is psychic? Does he or she use these special powers to harass or frustrate you? Tell us about it in the comments!

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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