The Kitty Pedicure Song


By Sarah Donner

When I jump upon your lap, you begin to scream
There are tiny spots upon your leg where you are bleeding
Then you chase me down the hall and say it’s all my fault
It’s just how I ask politely, “Can I get a pedicure?”

Hold tight, grab my paw
Gently clip my little claw
Without them I’d be defenseless
Sorry for the pain and bloodshed

Get a friend to help you and then wrap me in a towel
Do not be offended if I struggle, and I start to howl
Grab my foot and pinch it to extend the pointy tip
Trim them with the clippers but be careful of the quick!

Hold tight, just be brave
Accept that there’s furniture you just can’t save
I’m important, and you love me
When you have cats, you can’t have nice things

See Sarah’s original Ask a Cat Lady post over here.